QUID HAS HEARD that Aurora’s push to keep the world safe from Capone has been anything but a howling success. Seems that deputy dog-catchers in the city have made an unwanted name for themselves in snagging a family’s 10-year-old pooch on the lamb and declaring it to be a wolf. Or part wolf. Capone got out of the back yard a couple of weeks ago and was picked up by one of the city’s roving geneticists, who masquerade as collectors of errant canis lupus familiaris. Not sure what that is? Rest assured your trusty city dog catcher does. When they spotted Capone on the loose, they instantly suspected that the dog was actually part wolf, which is illegal in these parts. No, no, no, not the part wolf that all dogs are. For you un-enlightened non-science types, your faithful know-it-all does not refer to the fact that dogs and wolves are the same species (Remember King Philip Came Over From Germany Singing? No?) but considered by some experts to be a different sub-species. Well not Aurora’s roving rover squad. Keen eyes told them that Capone, a big black thing that looks an awful lot like a German shepherd mix, is in fact, your run-of-the mill lowly lupus. My, what big ears he does have. And my what big teeth he has. And my what a big international scandal Doggy Do Rights has brought upon a place renown for kicking Pit Bulls out of the hood. Welcome the scorn of of dog-lovers from around the world. Your’s truly wonders if such diligent doggy detective work is learned or maybe in their DNA.
AND QUID HAS HEARD that Colorado’s sunny Senator Cory Gardner has suddenly seen the light when it comes to understanding that poor people need surgery and chemotherapy sometimes, too. Seems that the state’s smiling lawmaker, up to this point, never saw an Obamacare repeal measure he didn’t like. Gardner voted to kill Obamacare whenever and wherever he could. That Medicaid expansion in Colorado beefing up the dole to 25 percent of the state? Kill. Kill. Kill. That was then, this is now. And now it turns out that there are plenty of voters out there getting their medicine from Medicaid. And so the man that 9News dubbed the Face of Repealing Obamacare is now at the front of the parade in the Senate to save it. Gardner points out that if they repeal and replace it the way GOP House types are talking now, tens of thousands of victims/voters would lose health care in a state where half the Legislature wants them off the dole ASAP. Welcome to the Bleeding Hearts Club, senator.
AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS