Councilmember Danielle Jurinsky speaks during a Sept. 12 city council meeting. SENTINEL SCREEN GRAB

Oh, hellzyeah. Saudi Aurora is back — and it’s badder than ever.

That’s thanks to Councilmember Danielle Jurinsky, A-Town’s strong-arm-of-the-lawmakers who’s kicking criminal butt — no matter the cost.

Got popped for trying to swipe those tires at Walmart? Get ready for the joint, lady, cause it’s three days and longer in the town calaboose.

Thought it would be cool and funny to slip into that puffing car outside the 7-Eleven that cold winter day and drive it off to work? Well, welcome to 30 days in the town digger, perp.

Yup, thanks to Councilmember Judge n’ Jurinsky, everybody’s going to the gray bar hotel these days.

A-town used to be known as Saudi Aurora long ago when folks downstream of us were laughing at the “Aurora One Tree,” the miles and miles of landscapeless streets, and yawning beige homes.

Not any more.

With Officer Jurinsky and Deputy Dustin “Dust ‘Em” Zvonek on it for the record, Saudi Aurora is gonna be out there busting heads instead of bargaining pleas.

Don’t be asking how much all this in-car-sir-ation is going to be costing taxpayers, because cost and consequences are no matters to mind here in Saudi Aurora.

We found that out this week when the town cabal pushed through a new edict that will force judges to put anyone in the crowbar hotel for shoplifting and swiping stuff amounting to $300 or more.

When some liberal lawmakers asked how much all this will cost and who’s going to be going to the bucket, Jailing Jurinsky cool-schooled ‘em in what’s what.

She said that kind of talk is just a bunch of socialistic equity poo from low-life Amnesty International types “siding with criminals,” according to a story in this Sentinel liberal rag, the bird-cage liner of Colorado that’s always asking questions and demanding proof of stuff.

“I am not going to let this ordinance be hijacked to continue to talk about the criminals in this city,” Jurinsky said. “The message has been made very clear … (that if) you commit any theft in this city, you are going to jail. That is the message. And for my colleagues that want to continue to talk about the criminals and side with the criminals, have at it.”

So the vote from Team Right was, oh-hell-you-know-it.

If this thing costs taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars, or even millions, well, cry Jurinsky a liberal river.

If this thing costs a mint and still doesn’t do a damn thing to keep people from lifting lingerie and laptops?

Them are the breaks.

Even though Jumping Jurinsky can’t cite a single reputable study showing that locking up thieves, and even damn thieves, keeps people from stealing, this isn’t about results.

It’s about getting on the right-wingiest local stalk-radio shows and yellin’ and screamin’ and making it look like Saudi Aurora is as serious as Saudi Arabia, where thieves have fewer fingers and liberal rags have fewer stories.

Jailerinsky is making it clear Team Redlight won’t never have to worry no more about those pesky soft judges that put criminals into diversion programs instead of con colleges, just so they can get jobs someday.

Force those damn shoplifters into the joint with that Good Book justice. Pay no mind that the GOP guy Jurinsky is backing for Colorado attorney general is using your tax dollars on a website dashboard that shows how effective diversion programs are at stopping criminals after their first bust and keeping them from a life of crime.

Diversion programs, community service and restitution don’t move the radio dial.

And when all this comes out that it costs serious money to put on this kind of performance art, and that serious businesses want no business doing business with a city run by hot-headed jail jockeys, and that places next to and near Saudi Aurora have the same problems and successes without stoning evildoers or executing sorcerers, well, hell.

We can just go back to being A-Town.

Follow @EditorDavePerry on Twitter and Facebook or reach him at 303-750-7555 or

19 replies on “PERRY: Lock ‘em up lawmakers turn back the clock to the new Saudi Aurora”

  1. Even though Jumping Jurinsky can’t cite a single reputable study showing that locking up thieves, and even damn thieves, keeps people from stealing, this isn’t about results.

    And here, Dave Perry admits that he supports businesses being stolen from.

    1. No ne “supports businesses being stolen from.” You just made that up, conveniently. No one supports theft from anyone, business or otherwise.

  2. I sometimes feel that Davey rails against the world and needs a hug. No matter what the thought, misplaced as many are,he turns negative BUT only if it comes from a Supposed conservative. Davey, more people would accept your ceaseless rants if you tried to understand what the other group hopes to accomplish.

    In my life. I have learned a lot by being willing to listen to and trying to accept what a person I disagree with is actually saying or doing. By vilifying decent co-citizens you make an ass of yourself. Try being less of a jerk and more of a reasoned voice.

  3. I’m not sure it’s all that, Dave, but here’s the thing: All the well-intended laws in the world don’t mean a darned thing if the perps aren’t able to be detained, arrested, charged, prosecuted and convicted.

    Our entire justice system is completely and utterly broken–from the contentious legislative process to the streets and through the courts all the way up to and including the Supreme Court. There is no one to apprehend anyone who commits the perceivably-minor act of theft, so the scofflaws will never reach the point at which a mandatory sentence is even up for consideration.

    Anyone who has not thought this through to its logical conclusion is simply delusional if he thinks this action will have the slightest effect on what really happens out there. I like to call it “short-sightedness.”

    Nothing less than a police department fully staffed with people who aren’t in danger of being ambushed on every call and are skilled at handling confrontation along with a complete overhaul of the justice system is going to solve our problems in regards to crime and I doubt that conservatives are willing to make the required expenditures in this respect.

    1. There’s plenty of people who can detain thieves, such as the store owner, manager, employees, and security, depending on the location. Even ordinary citizens can assist if they so choose.

      Crime is a problem to the extent that it is tolerated by the society at large, and a low-trust society breeds criminals like no other.

  4. Three days in jail:
    Verified lies by city politicians
    Driving while impaired
    Going 10 miles over the speed limit
    Failure to stop at a stop light or sign
    Witnessed verbal threats against a person
    Driving in the city with expired plates
    Any arrest for domestic violence

  5. Jurinski is not a serious politician. Like Bobert, she is only interested in headlines. You know, the kind Donnie always got when he was screaming about something being a disaster, which he never had a fix for other than watching more TV and screaming some more! And, like Trump, she has no interest in details. Evidently, Aurora is swimming in cash and we don’t need to know how much her program costs. This rushed program represents the epitome of negligence and narcissism. She richly deserves to be voted out of office next year!

  6. I do enjoy the rants where Dave goes blind with rage and fails to hide his outright hate for people who do not agree with his opinions. For someone who mocks Trump so much, he behaves just like him.

  7. What an embarrassing attempt at satire. We’re sick of brazen criminals running rampant without fear of punishment and Dave Perry’s over here throwing a hissy fit over his precious political ideology. I guess crime is low in your wealthy gated community? Get outta here ya outta touch partisan hack ????

    1. I’ve noticed that this is the second time the majority on the council has proposed ideas that they haven’t taken the time to find out how much they will cost
      taxpayers. There are rules and the City Attorney
      should educate the majority about proposing projects
      AFTER they have learned how much they will cost
      the taxpayers.

  8. So much hatred for so long on this website. There should be no “sides” as we are all Americans, except for Socialists who wish to stop Americans way of living.

    Keep it up Danielle, so many of us understand what you are trying to accomplish as an Aurora leader. They just mostly are not readers of the Sentinel and this website.

    My continuing gratitude to the Conservatives on Council who are attempting to stop crime in our City by doing something rather than the status quo and attempting to help stop the spread of Socialism in Aurora.

      1. Simply put, BlueBird, the four Socialists on Aurora’s City Council, on this and past votes on incarceration continue to vote to not send caught criminals to jail.

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