QUID HAS HEARD that even Boy Scouts can be unprepared for what the school board brings. Seems a gaggle of kerchiefed do-gooders descended on the most recent Cherry Creek Schools board meeting to help ensure scouts could get their civics badge or whatever moniker they deserve for having lost a good TV night to spend a Monday with a group of people that are notoriously trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. Unbeknownst to the do-gooders, however, was Agenda Item 67-12. At that point in the meeting, school district finance wonk Guy Bellville launched into a marathon explanation of an upcoming bond election and every intimate financial and economic detail that only Belleville can inflict/deliver. It wasn’t more than nine or ten hours into his presentation that the affable group of boys looked as if they were considering joining the children of the corn. Despite heavy injuries, there were no immediate fatalities.

AND QUID HAS HEARD that students in the city’s southeastiest reaches are seriously Twitter-pated over a rash of school fights and drug-sniffing doggies at schools like Eaglecrest. It’s there, and other Arapahoe County schools, where drug dogs peruse the halls sniffing out evil weed and other possible contraband. That’s brought on local talk about what special circle of Hell would involve a highly-sensitive sense of smell being forced to huff the odors emanating from what is undoubtedly some of the stinkiest creatures ever to roam the planet: teenaged humans. Gym shorts, sneakers, forgotten lab experiments and last semester’s hard-boiled eggs are more than Quid can stand. This would be one time that every dog would loathe his day.

AND QUID HAS HEARD one of the non-newsiest stories of the decade is always going to be news to someone. Seems Councilwoman Molly Markert was sandbagged, shocked and dismayed to find out by reading a recent edition of the Aurora Sentinel that city council ward boundaries are about to be changed to accommodate the city’s changing population, just like has been the case every first-even year after the Census. Markert was aghast she would have to read in a public paper something so sensitive, even though it was discussed at a public city council committee meeting and appeared on that committee’s agenda. One wag muttered that it’s time for Markert to put down her trademark knitting needles and pick up her council packet.

AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS