›› I’m standing out like a sore thumb, and it’s not just because this cowboy hat is two sizes too small.
In fact, I’m sure the entire rowdy crowd gathered at the Stampede bar and dance club knows there’s a geeky intruder in their midst. I’m dodging line-dancing couples dressed in fitted cowboy hats and snug jeans. As modern country ballads blare, I fidget nervously at the bar, adjust my stance and try my best to look like a cool cowboy, even as I sip a whiskey-ginger out of a straw.
I doubt my efforts to fit in are working. And my sense of awkwardness only worsens when I climb onto the imposing mechanical bull set up at the end of the room.
The bull looks harmless enough. It’s a simple machine, after all. Apart from the genuine cowhide draped over its back and the pair of sharpened horns that look a bit too real, the mechanized animal looks like a refugee from some low-budget carousel.
But it looks a lot more imposing as soon as I see some eager 20-something get thrown from its back.
Brittney Cox, the fresh-faced kid behind the controls, offers some straightforward advice before she starts pulling the levers on a control panel that looks straight out of an amusement park. “Squeeze with your legs,” she offers. “It’s like sex – move your hips.” But Cox, outfitted in a properly sized cowboy hat, has advice that’s even more direct.
“Hold on for dear life,” she says with a smile.
As the fake steer starts to buck and spin, I spot a largely female crowd of onlookers seated at nearby bar tables. This is quite a spectacle for them, judging from the way they’re hooting and hollering at every movement of the bull. The speed and intensity picks up, and I’m suddenly privileged to a 360-degree view of the bar as the mechanized animal shifts its orientation. I have the presence of mind to doff my tiny cowboy hat and hold it over my head, trying a little too hard to strike a memorable pose.
Then something strange happens.
When the really serious up-and-down, back-and-forth, round-and-round motions start in earnest, I realize with a weird kind of clarity that I’ve stayed on the machine for more than 30 seconds. The self-consciousness evaporates. A strange kind of pride takes its place. All the background noise disappears, and I keep thinking of the advice I just picked up from Cox.
I’m holding onto a cinch attached to the bull’s back with a leather glove, but not for dear life. It’s a personal challenge now, a matter of basic pride. When the machine’s movements finally become too intense, when I’m finally thrown from the fake bovine’s back onto a stretch of soft, bouncy canvas, I no longer feel so out of place.
The Stampede no longer feels so surreal; it’s not quite so alien anymore. I lasted longer than another first-time rider, and I feel like I’ve passed an important hazing ritual.
The mechanical “buck ‘n bull” is a staple of this country and western bar on South Havana Street that’s become a main feature of Aurora’s nightlife since it opened in 1992. The bar and dance club may seem like an unlikely fit for a town that’s only become more and more cosmopolitan and international in the past decade. But the 35,000-square-foot, two-story emporium for “dancin’ and romancin’” continues to draw massive crowds with its cowboy theme and Western kitsch.
The bull, operated by Double “R” Hat Works and Mechanical Buck ‘n Bull, is a big part of the atmosphere that’s made this place a legend. For a mere $5, brave souls can see how long they can stay seated on the saddle as the artificial bull spins and bucks with increasing intensity. It’s a feature that draws casual bargoers and local celebrities alike.
My bull ride lasted less than two minutes, but it had the feel of an initiation ceremony. My cowboy hat may still be too small, but I suddenly feel bold enough to try a turn at country line dancing.
Let ‘em laugh. I just tamed a bull.
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Drunken fun doesn’t have to mean pool and darts
The Stampede’s mechanical bull is just one of many imaginative ways to get your buzz on at bars across the metro area. Complement that cold beer with an old-school video game, a game of ping-pong or a round of geeky trivia. Take your whiskey with a round of bocce ball or guzzle your martini with an old-fashioned game of marbles. Here are some of your best bets for creative boozy fun.
1Up, 1925 Blake St., Denver; 2Up, 717 E Colfax Ave., Denver.
Is there any better way to celebrate Mario’s liberation of Princess Peach than with a craft beer? The 1Up on Blake Street near Coors Field and the sister bar 2Up on East Colfax pair spirits with classic video games. Between the two bars, there are dozens of arcade games, pinball games and skee-ball alleys. It’s enough to appeal to hardcore gamers, casual fans of Tetris and everyone in between.
Geeks Who Drink, Wednesdays, Dry Dock Brewing Co., 15120 E Hampden Ave., Aurora.
Aurora’s signature brewpub has come a long way since 2005. Once a spare home-brewing supply store, Dry Dock Brewing Co. has since expanded to include a massive brewery, a canning facility and funky watering hole off of Hampden Avenue. The Dry Dock bar has grown along with the company, adding live music, games and other bar fun to its menu of award-winning brews. The Geeks Who Drink trivia contest is now a weekly feature at the Aurora bar, and it’s a perfect way to show off your smarts even as you kill some brain cells.
Punch Bowl Social, 65 Broadway, Denver.
The Punch Bowl Social bar and restaurant offers an ambitious mix of games and amusement that ranges from bowling to shuffleboard. What really makes this hip eatery in one of Denver’s hippest neighborhoods stand out, however, is its inclusion of an American game that’s fallen into obscurity. When the bar opened last year, owners claimed they were going to bring marbles back as a legitimate game, and they made good on their vow. Between the bowling alleys and coin-operated shuffleboard racks, customers can sprawl out and play a game of old-fashioned marbles. You can bring your own, or rent a bag for $4. Looks like the game isn’t just for the schoolyards of yore.