Wearing Out the Season
Irony is dead. Long live irony.
It used to be that the horrible secret buried in the back of your closet — no, not the Don Draper kind — could be just as effective as your Halloween costume in drawing strangers’ eyes to your ensemble.
We’re talking about the cherished tradition of the Ugly Christmas Sweater, one which we come to praise but not bury.
Back in the day, gaudy and lamentable knitwear was a respectable gag — something anyone could do with just a half hour spent rooting through an elderly relative’s chiffarobe and an afternoon of craft-store shopping and hot-glue-gunning.
Or even if you weren’t the least bit artistically inclined, you could pay Grandma Goth a visit down at Flossy McGrew’s on Broadway. Sadly, both are no longer with us.
Instead, big retailers are stepping into the fold and spoiling the fun for profit. You could drop into the Macy’s inside Town Center at Aurora and ask about their selection of “OppoSuits,” a Dutch label of matching jacket, pants and tie for $99.99.
If you catch some svelte Scrooge parading around Dec. 19 at Dick’s Sporting Goods Park for the annual Ugly Sweater Run, let’s hope for a white Christmas so we have plenty of ammo for a snowball bombardment.
What’s On Your Wish List, Aurora?
Your friends here in the offices of Aurora Magazine aren’t too great when it comes to electoral prognosticating or looking into the crystal ball to know precisely what 2016 will hold for A-Town.
But just like Old Kris Kringle, we’ve been keeping a list of all of Aurora’s good boys and girls — and making note of everyone who’s been naughty in 2015.
So lest we drone on about playing Santa, here are the early returns when it comes to the Who’s Who of Aurora sending their wishlists to the North Pole:
Mayor Steve Hogan: 10 Gaylords a-leaping (Editor’s note: This has been his one and only gift requested four years running; if the third time’s the charm, we figure he’s about due).
Police Chief Nick Metz: Lots and lots of silent nights.
New York Yankee and Grandview alum Greg Bird: Long vacations for Mark Teixeira and A-Rod.
State Sen. Morgan Carroll: Come, all ye Democratic faithful, there’s only 360-some fundraising days until congressional Christmas.
Aurora Public Schools Superintendent Rico Munn: Three wise men, or women — really, anyone you can spare to help out at Aurora Central High School.
Ready For a Winter Wonderland
RSVP your regrets to old Ruby Hill. The growth of old A-Town into the state’s third-largest city has helped multiply the good spots to go sledding with the kids (or without them). The hills near Olympic Park at Chambers and Yale have been a reliable locale for butt-surfing fresh powder, as too are the inclines just beyond Falcon Creek Middle School at Genoa and Maplewood.
And while not technically legal, if the conditions make it impossible for cars, we’d love to try zooming westbound down Mexico Avenue from its crest at Buckley Road on down to the Horseshoe Park spillway.