QUID HAS HEARD that it’s worse than you think on the top of the Republican Primary ticket this week. Seems that intrepid Denver Post hack and beer baron John Frank had the foresight to ask GOP gubernatorial candidates something that really matters to savvy voters: “What’s your favorite beer?” Top answer among 3 of 4 GOP candidates for guv? Coors, Coors Banquet and, gads, Victor Mitchell says Coors Light. And there’s your trouble. Only Connecticut transplant Walker Stapleton had the marketing savvy to give a shout out to real Colorado Native Chad Yakobson and his Crooked Stave suds. Think hard, dear voter. Would you trust the state, better roads and four years of inevitable self-aggrandizement to someone who reaches for a six-pack of anything Coors when a six pack of Dry Dock Amber Ale or Apricot Blonde, Left Hand Nitro Milk Stout, Tommyknocker Legend, Breckenridge Brewery’s ‘72 Imperial or even a modest Avery White Rascal is right there along with it? Hell no. Here’s what the GOP four need to drink to get them elected, or at least real. For Mitchell: Elevation’s Apis IV, so he has something interesting to talk about. For Greg Lopez: Elk Mountain Kolsch, never forget your roots; Doug Robinson: Boulder’s Twisted Pine Brewing Ghost Face Killah so he can lighten up. And for Stapleton? Try Coors Colorado Native. It’s the real deal.
AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS.