QUIDNUNC: The road to Denver is paved with good deicer

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Quidnunc, whose name comes from the Latin  “what now,” is out and about as often as possible  to bring you news overheard in elevators, rest rooms and spied in various e-mail boxes.

QUID HAS HEARD that the road to hell is paved with ice in Denver. Seems that Aurora’s sassy step-sister to the east is so full of Colorado newcomers that they had to learn the hard way that it snows here in the winter sometimes. Sometimes came seriously last week before the endless municipal holiday and Denver road emperors got caught with their plows up after Snowmacomen 2019. Despite endless warbling from endless weatherfolks in the area that was repeated endlessly by end-to-end weather forecasts, apparently no one in Denver knew it was really gonna snow, or that it’s the sun, not the asphalt, that melts the snow after it comes. Denver has plenty of asphalt but had little sun last week and no plows off the big streets. What they got was millions of miles of Grade A Colorado street glacier and nobody to blame but themselves. Like other faux experts, they blamed it on the rain. Not to be outdone by their own undoing, Denver nabobs then announced they would, sigh, send de-icer trucks into the neighborhoods to squirt the glaciers with their own brand of dreaded salt water. Despite warnings that it wouldn’t work, from people from here that would know, squirt they did. Next up? Time to tear up what few snowplows Denver snow sissies own trying to scrape diamond-hard white granite glacier off streets of tens of thousands of transplants who are wondering why in the hell they moved here. And for those related snow whiners here in Aurora, don’t complain lest they bring back Aurora’s forgotten bad habit of plowing all the snow to the inside of the street.

AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS.

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