QUID HAS HEARD that not since Picasso picked up a paintbrush, Michael Jordan bounced a basketball, the Soviets shot that chimp into space or New York-born police Chief Dan Oates moved to South Florida has a more appropriate post befallen a mammal in the history of ever. Last month, the National League of Cities elected Aurora city Councilman Brad Pierce to the be the president of the National Organization to Insure a Sound-Controlled Environment, or NOISE. The organization, dedicated to mitigating airport noise in cities all over the country, is important for Aurorans particularly because of our three busy nearby airports (Centennial, Buckley and DIA). For more than 30 
years, NOISE has been successfully preserving eardrums so iPods could ruin them over the last five years. Pierce’s election as president is no shock to Quid, particularly because Pierce rocks the council chambers like a Saltine-butter sandwich washed down with a glass of tap water.
AND QUID HAS HEARD our calling, it’s to be seated at the City of Aurora’s round table of square dudes telling pot shop owners how to run their businesses. The city’s recently passed pot shop regulations include a committee of city folks, business folks and unnamed folks, analyzing retail plans for shop owners who may haul in more money weekly than some of these people make in a year. The lucrative pot shop business bonanza is almost upon us and the city will be judging whether someone who is selling $30 pot is more economically viable than someone selling $25. It’s a bizarro world and Quid wants to be a part of it. Not only because it offers the opportunity to permanently rid the city of rank dope forever, but also because it’s a position plum with graft and Quid just loves free stuff.
AND QUID HAS HEARD that Councilman Bob Roth, of the house of Ward V, in the land of Southeastern Aurora, the first of his name, has eyes for the Pleather throne of the chair of mayor of Aurora. Considering that it’s never too early to speculate on any race any time, anywhere, we’ll handicap the Aurora mayoral election of 2015 already by giving Bob Roth a slight edge over Marsha Berzins, but trailing incumbent Steve Hogan and typhoid in the least popular, popular election of all time. Roth, like most of the councilmembers and the ward he represents, is an outspoken conservative with a fairly comprehensive knowledge of the city government functions. In other words, he’s Quid’s last pick for mayor. What our city needs is someone ambitious enough to race Michael Hancock on foot, arm wrestle a congressman, and build an arts center. How old is that Tauer kid, from the house of Paul and Ed, the third of his name?
AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS FIT TO PRINT
