QUIDNUNC: Sordid sign suffrage and other sanguine stuff

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QUID HAS HEARD that the cake has been taken when it comes to sloth in elections this year. That’s really hearing something, as your faithful scribe has been witness to plenty of elections during an illustrious career. Local candidates for offices ranging from dogcatcher to, um, head dogcatcher, recently posted an endorsement video online with the seemingly harmless title of “Larry 4 President.” The two awkward minutes that follow are less entertaining than re-runs of “Perfect Strangers” except for the dummy that chimes in around the 90 second mark — and we don’t mean another candidate, there’s actually a ventriloquist in the video. It’s hard to discern what point the video is trying to make, other than that we should be taking a long, hard look at who we elect into public office.

AND QUID HAS HEARD rumors that an unnamed candidate for Arapahoe County Commissioner has a sordid past when it comes to mixing yard signs, and the vans they tossed them into. An e-mail has surfaced saying that said candidate once swiped yard signs while el politico was working on a congressional campaign nearly a decade ago. These are weighty charges levied against the hopeful, but Quid would wager a hack salary to guess that there are more than just a few current signs in the back of current candidates’ cars right now. It’s called running a campaign.

AND QUID HAS HEARD a candidate — also to be unnamed — told the Aurora Sentinel that there would be no speaking with the Sentinel based on advice from a clearly professional campaign manager. It would appear that the candidate either doesn’t believe the Sentinel is worth their time (it isn’t) or that the Sentinel’s reputation preceded it (it probably did). Finally, Quid and a candidate can agree on something: the Sentinel is rarely worth talking to.

AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS