QUID HAS HEARD that someone told Colorado GOP Sen. Cory Gardner there is an election this year, and he’s on the ballot. The notoriously quiet junior senator from this popular square state has made a name for himself for the last several months for laying way, way low. Piping up of late only to pat President Donald Trump on the back or remove a knife that another Republican left there, Gardner has been garnering headlines mostly for his solid support of the most disliked politician in Colorado, Trump, making himself pretty much the second-most disliked politician in Colorado. Democrats, as broke as everyone else these days, are giddily spending cash to keep polling square-staters on whom they support for Gardner’s senate seat. It’s not Gardner, seems to be the consistent opinion. Alerted this week, Gardner has been firing off “now is not the time” quotes at the rate of 7 an hour, all focusing on everything but Trump’s veracity, his self-medication, his new pal, Obamagate, his Russian problem, his global warming deny-namics, lyin’ scientists, the long list of women who say he assaulted them, his push to end legal abortion and why there doesn’t seem to be a dog in America willing to call the White House home these days. When that went nowhere, Gardner went hands-on-hips hostile toward those-he-shall-not-name-that-run-the-Senate-show-i.e.-Mitch-McConnell to insist the Senate not pause for Memorial Day recess until he has something, anything to show Colorado residents that might make a halfway decent political commercial. The washout story has lasted much longer than Gardner’s objection and the rapid-fire tweets about, oh, anything, keep coming, except The Other He Whom Shall Not Be Named Before Election Day and the upcoming debate debacles. Willing to throw COVID to the wind, yours truly would take a front-row seat at a live debate to watch the Cory Debate Show when it goes lively.
AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS