QUID HAS HEARD that our boys in blue have been doing such a bang-up job at keeping the streets safe, they’ve started protecting and serving a swath of eastern Denver, too. Seems that while more and more Aurora police officers are unholstering their weapons and pulling the trigger on bad guys, they’re increasingly doing it beyond the city limits. Twice in a week, Aurora coppers have found themselves making some criminal’s day while in the Queen City of the Plains. Quid has heard plenty of Denver folk complain about our fair burg over the years, about how we’re trying to steal their stock shows, hotels and hospitals to varying degrees of success. But if any of that is half true, consider these developments along the thin blue line as our way to correcting that imbalance. For all the water and resources we import, it’s high time we start boosting our exports beyond world-class booze and including officer-involved shootings among the first things folks think of when they think of Aurora.
AND QUID HAS HEARD that despite all the recently departed folks on the business end of your local sheriff or police officer’s service revolver, the population of our square state continues to surge at a rate generally reserved only for “Star Wars” box office take. Seems the latest Census numbers show Colorado now bursting at the seams with more than 5.45 million natives and transplants calling the Centennial State home. Quid would kindly like to remind any out-of-state readers who don’t plan on opening a killer new restaurant or starting up a multi-millionaire-dollar biz: The highways are packed with pot-addicted criminals, and it’s best that you just stay wherever it is that you are now until we sort out all of this nastiness. But if you’ve got the next big thing in tech or awesome tamales, apply in person for residency.
AND QUID HAS HEARD that all the fuss over possibly closing Guantanamo Bay and shepherding the detainees there to a maximum-security lockup here in Colorado may have dulled the roar over a true monster now shacking up in a nearby cell. Ex-Subway pitchman Jared Fogle — best known for holding big pants and being a convicted solicitor of underage prostitutes — now calls FCI Englewood home after being transferred from an Oklahoma brig. Surely if Colorado can handle taking on this inmate from the Okies, surely we could handle some terror suspects? At the least, perhaps our friends in the Sooner State could turn a blind eye toward all the weed that finds its way across our border.
AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS.