QUIDNUNC: Safe is as safe does

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Quidnunc, whose name comes from the Latin  “what now,” is out and about as often as possible  to bring you news overheard in elevators,  rest rooms and spied in various e-mail boxes.

QUID HAS HEARD that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but the road to the safest large city in Colorado is Parker Road — at least according to something called The Home Security Advisor Dot Com. While the brothers in blue always have each others’ backs, your humble snarker-in-chief can’t help but wonder if it hasn’t ruffled some feathers at APD HQ, where touting A-Town’s status as “the safest large city in Colorado” has become such a common refrain in municipal marketing, it’s splashed in on the top of the city’s webpage for crime data. The dubious data that puts Parker at the top of the heap cites 77 violent crimes and 784 property crimes per annum as the best of the best for burgs of 50,000 folks or more — Aurora doesn’t even break the top 10 per that list. Places like Castle Rock, Broomfield, Loveland and Longmont round out their top five. But Quid has it on good authority that if you check out Parker’s Nextdoor communities, they’re just as frightened by the scourge of “suspicious cars” and mysterious figures darkening doorsteps and showing up on Nest cameras without warning as any person living in the relative skid row that is their municipal neighbor to the north.

AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS.