QUID HAS HEARD that protesting, just like everything else in Aurora, has become much easier with chains and consolidation. Hobby Lobby, purveyors of arts, crafts, paper mache and everything other than birth control for women, recently opened its doors near the Town Center of Aurora and Chick Fil-A, purveyor of fried foods, delicious iced tea and traditional marriage. In fact, the Hobby Lobby and Chick-fil-A share more than just similar ideologies, they share a parking lot too. Now, Quid doesn’t much care what your political persuasion is, but this kind of political/economic alliance is truly remarkable. All that conservative in just one spot! It can only be countered with a Green Peace Recruitment Office and Birkenstock Outlet Store at the Southlands shopping center. There must be balance within the force.
AND QUID HAS HEARD that Aurora’s own Representative to the U.S. Congress, Mike Coffman, has a new campaign ad touting Coffman’s favorable record for all the ladies out there — which may or may not be true, depending on who you talk to. Quid isn’t going to weigh in on the veracity of the claims committed in the ads, only to point out that when the ad first launched, it arrived in Quid’s inbox with a link redirecting to the FaceTube page displaying the ad. We’re only pointing out that the next suggested video after Coffman’s campaign ad was “Never Going to Give You Up” by Rick Astley. It’s not every day that Quid gets Rick Rolled by a sitting congressman, but the challenge has been set now. We’ll get you back Mr. Coffman, not now, not tomorrow, but when you’re least expecting it.
AND QUID HAS HEARD that there’s a theory floating around city hall and the city’s ‘nother neither regions that Quid is a known commodity. That Quid has a name, phone number and probably an address with running water and indoor plumbing. In fact, there are rumors that Quid has a face, which is undeniably false. Quid doesn’t wear a lot of pants either, if you’re wondering.
AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS