QUID HAS HEARD that nothing says ‘country’ like Aurora state Sen. Rhonda Fields. Seems that the once very urban Fields has reached out to her rural-rooted constituents east of Aurora, and even east of there. Fields talks the talk about how tough farming is, in an interview with Farm Flavor magazine. She also sports a serious “shucks, folks” outfit for an out-standing-in-her-field-or-that-of-someone-else photo shoot that could just as easily grace her first Nashville album cover. Smitten with the idea, your affiant hopes to soon see more state lawmakers make photo-connections with their constituencies. Perhaps state Sen. Kevin Lundberg running lights at Tracks during Drag Nation shows on Final Friday. How about “Succession King” state Sen. Jerry Sonnenberg serving lunches at Aurora Central High School? Perfection? State Sen. Vicki Marble working the drive-thru at Popeye’s in Colorado Springs to see who really eats all that fried chicken. And dream of dreams would be state Sen. Andy Kerr handing out zombie targets at the Centennial Gun Club shooting range. Dream on, folks.
AND QUID HAS HEARD that worse than all the Christmas decorations having gone up before Labor Day is full-force elections running through our brains a full year before Election Day 2018. Go the hell away, is what runs through the oversized frontal lobes of yours truly and the weary hacks at this sad little rag. Bad enough to be swimming in endorsements, Twitter trolls and exhausted campaign memes, now it’s time to guess which Canadian or Swiss mountain range graces the top of wannabe carpet-bagging politico websites and email snooze-letters. Quid will endorse the first statewide candidate who mails $100 and his or her picture in front of a background depicting Mine Tailing Mountains outside of Creede or the fabulous prison in Limon. Put you and your grinning dog and family up against that amazing LaJunta skyline if you really want to impress folks here about how much you love our epic square state.
AND QUID HAS HEARD that the greatest show in our corner of Mile High Nirvana is at the southbound Interstate 225 on-ramp that doesn’t go anywhere near southbound I-225. Seems that after decades of misery, the light bulb suddenly went on at the Colorado Department of Transportation with a way to ease the pinball machine clog at I-225 and I-25. All they did was repaint stripes on the road and, “voila,” les cars are les moving. Except on the ramp at Tamarac, where Jersey barriers force cars onto I-25 northbound. The look on motorist faces being foiled at what’d they’d always done before, clog traffic by jetting across several lanes of madness, is a sweet, sweet frosting on what is now a cake drive on the Gateway to Aurora, and out again.
AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS