QUID HAS HEARD that it’s alright now. There’s a finally another chance to go to a garden party, and Quid wants to chime in. Seems Hizzoner Steve Hogan will be telling the world about the state of this gangly city Aug. 27 at Aurora’s fancy weed garden near city hall. Quid assumes it won’t be all good news, since the annual cheer-leading event has moved from one of a few usual Denver hotels to the xeriscape prairie patch out on city hall compound. Hogan, who unlike his predecessors who played everything safe and boring, is willing to risk a few jeers and a possible tornado, a hail storm or a plague of locusts to get the word out about our fabulous burg. What Hizzoner isn’t expecting is the rebuttal, and here’s where Quid comes in. Forever insanely jealous of fine statesmen like Gov. Bobby Jindal and Sen. Marco Rubio, who get to sneer all over the president’s state of the onion redress each year, Quid’s been dying for a shot. So when Hogan during the state of the city is about to bust into a song about the Gaylord Hotelapalooza and Water Sliderium, look to Quid to tell it like it really is. Quid knows you can’t please everyone, so you got to please the little voice inside your head that just won’t shut the hell up.

QUID ALSO HAS HEARD that the not-quite-hepcats on council ain’t so keen on supplying a bit of scratch for Aurora’s resident lyricist, Jovan Mays. Nobody’s ever accused Quid of being a poet (even if the feet show it), but if it’s free verses the hoo-haws at the AMC are after, here’s a haiku or two:

A springtime city,
Three hundred fifty thousand,
That is no suburb

Gaylord still alive,
Without winter stock show,
Ed T’s legacy

QUID ALSO HAS HEARD that fiddling around with the Constitution is all the rage in the presidential race, with folks clinging to The Donald’s whirly bird and policy platforms at each and every state fair and campaign stop between Ames and Des Moines. That means lots of sorta respectable politicos all of a sudden talking about ending birthright citizenship. Quid likes the 14th Amendment the same way you’d like your breakfast platter at the diner: Not spit on and defiled. But perhaps the Centennial State has something to learn from these nativist hate-screeds. Enough with the transplants from who-knows-where and the jam-packed roadways. Let’s see your long-form papers and make sure you were born a square-stater. Otherwise, you’re fired.

AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS.