QUID HAS HEARD that all of Aurora can hear the train a comin’, no matter what we call it. About 13 years after FasTracks got voter approval to build rail everywhere by 2017 for $4.7 billion, Aurora’s train rolls to life on Feb. 24. This was supposed to be the end of the last line. Latest estimates it will not be until 2044 before FasTracks speeds to the finish line. Aurora threw a fit a few years ago when RTD determined that Lakewood needed empty trains to nowhere much more than Aurora needed a way around clogged I-225 and parts east, now, we got ours. Miraculously, funds were found to build out the East Line, connecting Nine-Mile Station with the Air Train, and a way Downtown. Boulder, a place that gushes commuters to Denver every day, got squat. Congrats, Aurora. But last year, RTD viciously stole A-Town’s natural name for its hard-earned light rail addition, the A-Line, and gave it to Denver’s often-broken and never-on-time train to DIA. What should have been called, The Air Train, because that made so much sense the first few times Denver imagined one, is now a hobbling, tardy, and maybe not at all, $9 ride that is actually called the University of Colorado A Line, which goes nowhere near the University of Colorado anything. Not that Quid is bitter over the loss of common sense and a decent branding vehicle, but instead, RTD saddled Aurora with calling its light-rail miracle, The R-Line. Because R is for Ruh-Roar-Ruh, or something just as pathetic. Quid points out that R is for Lame. If we can’t have A, we want Z, which is for Zip or Zee. “Come to Aurora and ride Zee train for a night on Zee town.” Visit Aurora can have that one for free. Pollyanna types insist that we should all just be thankful we have a rail line at all, creating endless possibilities for chain restaurants to spring up at trendy light-rail stations instead of at brown-brick big-box strip malls separating Aurora’s concrete canyons. Maybe. Quid’s not quite on board, yet.
AND QUID HAS HEARD that President Donald Trump — which still causes a faint tick while typing those 20 characters in that string — presents endless entertainment opportunities for marvel right here in Colorado. The Greatest Show on Earth didn’t close, as announced, it’s simply reopened as The Next Four Years, and actually stars some of your favorite elephants. Watch contortionists like Congressman Mike Coffman bend to appease his diverse district, attacking the Ring Leader, while avoiding the lethal bite of angry tea party lions. Watch local elephants at the state Capitol drive their funny cars in circles. See the biggest freak show ever. And have you ever seen a circus with so many clowns? Especially one that is just plain sad.
AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS