QUIDNUNC: Quid eye for APD undercover guys — dress for success

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Quidnunc, whose name comes from the Latin  “what now,” is out and about as often as possible  to bring you news overheard in elevators, rest rooms and spied in various e-mail boxes.

QUID HAS HEARD that the wish list for police reformities is long and growing. More minority cops, lighter protective gear, cops who don’t pass out drunk behind the wheel of their police car; everything has its hand out now while trying to straighten out the city’s thin blue line. Since protests-r-us these days, one police need becomes a critical: police undercoverings. Seems that as The Aurora Police Department was preparing for the mother of all Aurora protests at city hall on June 27, the APD undercover cops were on the job early to scope out the scene. Even this lowly hack can spot the sorriest undercover cop costumes on the planet. Someone in the PD needs to buy the very large white-guy cop stuffed in a tiny Buick Encore at least a Hyundai he won’t pour out of it  and into the parking lot. Officer Sad stood out like an Aurora undercover cop at an anti-police rally. So, too, did the middle-age, well-groomed white dudes just happening to be taking a stroll around the Aurora Municipal Complex on a Saturday morning, which is not really near anything and offers no reason to go there. Saddest, tho, was the poor puffing cop-not-a-cop on an overpriced and overrated commuter bike, pretending to have just happened by and leisurely pedaling on sidewalks and walkways that go nowhere. The oversized plaid shirt. The steamy prescription sun glasses. The swank but pricey bike helmet. Not cool. But that single “courier” saddle bag on the wrong side of the bike? Dead giveaway. APD needs a lot of things, but right now they need a competent costume mistress and some sun on those white legs and arms, which are supposed to have been at a protest or two before.

AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS