QUID HAS HEARD that there ain’t nothing on TV Monday nights as freaky, wild, funny, scary and outright bizarre as the “Public Invited to be Heard” segment of the Aurora City Council meetings. Seems this week’s returning star, former Denver Public Schools board member Auon’tai Anderson, now a regular on the Aurora City Council Sitcom for the Sad, won the “You Want Weird” prize Monday. Anderson regularly delights in berating, shaming, annoying, enraging and everything but engaging the Republicans and unaffiliated Republicans on the council dais. Each week, Anderson saunters to the lectern to demandsplain how much he lives for the day that Aurora voters do a Danielle Jurinsky on other Aurora right-wingers, harkening back to last year when Jurinsky, running for re-election to be the loudest insulter of the left from the right, trailed in the vote behind Democrats, who now fill her council seat. But the weekly consternation took a decidedly musical turn Monday when Anderson banged out a new Aurora hit tune, “War Wheels On A Gavel Road.” Yours truly makes no apologies here to Lucinda Williams, who is invited to sing along next week. For three minutes on Monday, the time allotted to the little people to make a big deal out of something during the bi-weekly meetings, Anderson banged on the lectern with his own mini-gavel. The whack-job was directed at Mayor Mike Coffman’s own frequent hammering of his own gavel against Anderson and other progressive annoyances. “Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang-bang. Bang. Bang…” pretty much in three-four “Waltz” time, converted to schmaltz time, as members of the city council intended to be annoyed by the stunt pretended not to be annoyed or even aware. The unnerving jamboree highlight came when Councilmember Stephanie Hancock, a frequent target of Anderson’s glare-downs, joined in from the dais, offering an off-tempo foil tap, which, altogether, had the room grooving for a few seconds. Queries to those who made reports to your faithful affiant overnight made clear they recalled little else from the council meeting. Impressed, Quid demands this rag provide gavels to the staff hacks, allowing! for THE! regular and UN-fetterED use of ALL CAPS and ex!claim!ation! marks!!!!!
And!!!!!that’s all the news that fits.