QUID HAS HEARD that you have absolutely no worries about the power of vice casting a dark shadow over the good and virtuous political types running for every single elected office across this pagan land. Seems that as the electeds itching for another term and wannabes itching to get you, loyal reader, to throw the bums out, it has become clear that Aurora politicos are cut from cleaner cloth. Each year, the hacks at this moldy fish-wrapper dig for something new to say about Candidate X and Candidate Y, mostly because the news ends up in reader Zzzzzz’s. Quid’s favorite and only tolerable part of the farce of democracy is when scribes ask personal questions of up and down ballot types. The question that whetted Quid’s insatiable appetite for fun this year was, “Do you indulge?” Of course, here in the hippest state in the country that means, “What strain of kush does it for you?” Imagine Quid’s pleasure in informing you, lowly reader, that no one running for office in Adams County, Arapahoe County, or for a state race encompassing this A-Town of sinners partakes in recreational pot. None. Not a single sativa soul in the whole bunch. Quid is impressed that every single politico on your ballot is as wholesome as is your’s truly. Truly. Quid laments that the lame-stream-media types here didn’t have the foresight to ask the people’s representatives what they liked best at Taco Bell at 3 a.m., just in an effort to be fair and balanced.
AND QUID HAS HEARD there’s a new sport in Aurora and all across the nation, and everybody gets to play. Trump-shaming is all the rage. Seems that after months and months of Republicans’ talk, talk talking about constitutions and rights and how much better America will be with capital R in the White House, almost nobody’s talking now about their guy that could make that happen, Donald Trump. Democrats and even folks who don’t give a damn just love chasing GOP types around and asking them if they’re voting for Donald Trump. It’s not a noisy game. Nothing says “crickets” like asking Republicans the political equivalent of whether they’re still beating their spouse. Quid is astonished at how a political party that just can’t have enough bumper sticker-boast about their guy suddenly has become world-class proponents of the secret ballot. In short, local GOP types are making it clear that it’s none of your damned business who they pick for president, saying that such a decision doesn’t reveal anything about the political qualifications of the quiet politico. Draw your own conclusions, dear reader.
And that’s all the news that fits.