QUIDNUNC: Perfecting the art of ghosting

171

QUID’S PROPENSITY for lurking in the bushes finally paid off in a big way last weekend when he caught none other than Aurora Congressman Mike Coffman pulling an Irish exit, sneaking out the back door of the Aurora Central Public Library unbeknownst to many loyal Aurorans who felt there were too few “one-on-one” meetings with constituents on a day when there were lotsa questions. No amount of shushing by the librarians could quiet a contemptuous crowd drunk on Woody Guthrie songs and looking for some assurance regarding their insurance (health care, that is). You know what they say about when the going gets tough? That’s right: tough-as-nails Marines get going! But, honestly, those voters who were not personally responsible for Coffman’s re-election and seeking some answers from the dodgy veteran ought not to take his disappearing act too personally. Quid has it on good word that Coffman — like many other lawmakers too scared to sever ties with the incoming Tweeter-In-Chief Donald Trump, who will take oath this week as the least popular president-elect in American history — was really just practicing for the second half of the future prez’s inauguration party, when all the pony rides are over, face painting is done, the cake is gone and Three Doors Down takes the stage. (Remember that one song they had back in 2000? Yeah, neither does Quid.) Anyhow, having escaped more than a few uncomfortable situations himself, Quid has one sound piece of advice for Coffman and the other shell-shocked Republicans watching their party circle the drain to the beat of B-side celebs and reality TV “singing stars”: Know where the exits are ahead of time and make sure your crew is ready to create a distraction, lest Trump catch you creeping out on him. THEN, you’ll even have to sit through the encore.

Speaking of inaugurations … The confetti hasn’t even settled on Colorado’s Jan. 20 swearing in and overachieving schoolmaster and state Sen. Mike Johnston has already thrown his proverbial hat into the square ring for the 2018 Colorado governor’s race. A Gen-Xer with a heart of gold for education in the lagging Centennial State, the former Thornton-area principal and education adviser to President Barack Obama may need the head start if he’s to gain some name recognition running against potential party-line perennials like Congressman Ed Perlmutter (whose 7th Congressional District at one time included parts of Aurora) and former Colorado Attorney General and U.S. Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar. But you know what they say about the early bird. As for me, if this past campaign was any indication, I’m sleeping in.