FILE - In this Wednesday, Oct. 11, 2017, file photo, traffic fills all lanes of Interstate 5 heading into downtown Seattle. Housing prices have soared and traffic is frequently unmentionable. Seattle is among a fistful of cities that have flourished in the 10 years since the Great Recession officially began in December 2007, even while most other large cities, and sizable swaths of rural America, have managed only modest recoveries. (AP Photo/Elaine Thompson, File)

QUID HAS HEARD that state legislators are pretty down in the dumps about what they expect to brag about once they quit making sausage in May after their 120 days allowed by law to inflict statute is up. At least the ones honest enough to know that with the Life of the Partisanship sleeping at the White House, bitter disagreement between the left and the right will only get worse and not better. It means that if you were thinking that the adults at the State Capitol were going to actually raise taxes or something to fill Colorado potholes or fix the unmitigated disaster created by the Colorado Department of Transportation and the City of Denver by hot-wiring Santa Fe Boulevard into northbound Interstate 25, well, just stop thinking. Lawmakers have. They’ve agreed on what day to start festivities, and that’s about all. So your faithful hack suggests we use this pre-2018 Election Massacre legislative session to get real stuff done for the state’s 327 natives and all the rest who’ve moved here and taken up careers telling others to go home. Quid frequently hears and says: “There ought to be a law,” and with any luck, there will be. Your trusted affiant’s suggestions are as follows: There ought to be a law against having fewer than 10 traffic cops per mile of metro-area interstate at any time, day or night. It will take no less than that to chase, pull over, arrest, haze and taze all the idiot drivers in their SUVs who tailgate,  weave through rush-hour traffic, do better than 30 mph over the speed limit and buy cars with headlights that should be limited to jetliners landing in blizzards. They won’t go away, and they don’t care if you honk, flip them off, scream out the window or throw burning sacks of feces at their Audis. They just motor on. We need enough cops to be there when hundreds of thousands of other metro motorists chant, “where the hell are the cops?

AND THERE OUGHT TO BE A LAW against battery-operated bathroom paper-towel dispensers that make you wave frantically in front of strangers at a dispenser that miserly offers a piece of tissue paper the size of a business card and then makes you wait minutes before acquiescing to an additional scrap of paper to dry your hands. There ought to be a law that public restrooms should offer real, fresh, cotton towels to reward the diminishing throngs who actually stop to wash their hands after doing who knows what in bathroom stalls.

AND THERE OUGHT TO BE A LAW against pharmaceutical commercials that last hours warning you about shocking potential side effects. Quid doesn’t want to know that one’s only hope for white teeth or healed scabs will cause surprise bouts of explosive diarrhea. With Santa being a tragic casualty in the War on Christmas, let Quid hang onto something.

AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS