QUID HAS HEARD that it’s not all bad news coming out of the clown-car race to Colorado’s U.S. Senate seat. Sure the big barking dog in the room is JeffCo kinda-legislator Jon Keyser’s dead and faked primary petition scratchings. Nail-biting Republicans and salivating Democrats must wait to see what becomes of Keyser’s OnTheBallotGate antics when local district attorneys talks with parties involved. But the good news is, Denver Judge Morris Hoffman made it clear that he has an answer to all of America’s annoying political woes. Hoffman ruled that anyone and everyone only had five days before the deadline passed for whining about Keyser signatures and stuff. Suck it up and get on with it. Quid marvels at the sheer genius hizzoner flashes. Why not replicate this and impose the five-day whining limit on everything the government does? Benghazi and those pesky Hillary e-mails? BRRRRRRAAAAAAACK. Time’s up! Move along. Donald Trump’s Mexican-rapists, whack-a-Muslim and love-my-hot-daughter faux pas? BRRRRRRRRRT. So sorry. Times up. Next? Of course during this election, Democrats will have the advantage since Herr Trumpf is a daily fountain of goof. But at least we’ll be keeping it fresh. Think of how much more functional Congress will be when very grudge must expire after five days. Think of how much more interesting TV news will be when there’s actually new reasons for both parties to hate each other, instead of hating on each other for the same ol’ same ol’.
AND QUID HAS HEARD that the vandalism just won’t stop at Aurora’s current favorite blight-spot, Regatta Plaza. Seems this sunken-ship of a shopping center has long been favorite of taggers and vacant-store terrorists. And it totally looked the part Tuesday when, at long, long last, city hoo-haws were able to swing virtual wrecking balls at south-central Aurora’s big nasty next to Nine Mile train and bus station. Coming, someday, will be a new and improved overrated shopping center that will be another generation’s eyesore, but not this one. Everyone who’s ever talked serious trash about Regatta was there to cheer on the long-awaited demolition — except for one person: former Councilwoman Molly Markert. Seem Aurora’s favorite gadfly, who once swore she’d be the first to swing an ax at the decaying center, had a prior commitment. It all seemed odd and then made perfect sense when demo crews discovered they’d gotten further than they thought on Day 2. Quid isn’t saying Markert sneaked out there in the middle of the rainy night to take her turn at Regatta — that’s your job.
AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS.