QUID HAS HEARD local Dems showed up to Congressman Mike Coffman’s office with cantaloupes — 39, to be exact — to protest the GOP rep’s support of an effort to defund an order to allow children of immigrants to stay in the country legally. Dems showed up with the cantaloupes specifically because the leader of the charge, U.S Rep. Steve King of Iowa, said that Mexican kids were more likely to be drug smugglers with calves the size of cantaloupes than productive members of society. Coffman, apparently, is guilty by association because he voted in favor to defund the order. According to the big paper downtown, Coffman’s office turned the Dems back and told them to take the melons to the local food bank, which they did. No word on whether Quid’s deliveries of chicken wings or pansies made it to the local Dems’ door, but hopefully they will soon.

QUID HAS HEARD General Electric pulled the plug on Aurora’s half-built solar plant facility this week, saying the most abundant, free energy source in the solar system — which rises predictably every morning, and will likely burn at millions of degrees for billions more years — is too expensive to harness right now. The move axes 50 jobs right now, and the 450 more it would have brought into Aurora when the plant was completed. (Side note: Denver media pounced on the story “breaking” it, “exclusively” a few hours after it was reported right here in this rag after GE sent out a press release. But don’t let details get in the way of banging your own chests, Denver hacks. Our hacks don’t break news, they just sprain it, I guess.) Axing the plant was a good idea for GE only because Quid thinks there’s a bright, long future ahead in cracking open our own planet to extract a finite amount of dead-dinosaur juice from miles below bedrock. There’s no way that can run out, right?

QUID HAS HEARD Fiddler’s Green is changing hands again. The close-to-Aurora amphitheater formerly known as Coors Amphitheater, or Comfort Dental Amphitheater or Fiddler’s Green brought to you by Pepsi Clear and Enron, is being sold to someone for some amount of money. Look, the point is here: It doesn’t matter what you call it. Fiddler’s still remains the only venue Quid can rest comfortably and see the Temptations (or their grand-nephews) perform at KOZY shows, have a Coors Light and watch geezers flail around, dance, or both. Call it whatever you want, but we’ll just call it “Life in the ‘burbs.”

AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS FIT TO PRINT