QUID HAS HEARD that there was an absence of malice on Monday when Denver Mayor Michael Hancock, Colo. Gov. John Hickenlooper and Golden Congressman Ed Perlmutter formally announced the selection of Colorado as the site for a new U.S. Patent Office. The dog-and-pony show was held at the Anschutz Medical Campus. The Aurora delegation was represented at the event by — umm, no one really. Despite hosting the event, and likely being one of the office’s heavy users thanks to Aurora’s burgeoning biomedical industry on the campus site, Aurora didn’t exactly make the short list of potential sites for the office. That honor was bestowed on the likes of Lakewood and Denver. So Aurora is invited to host the party, just not show up to it. Patently offensive, it was.

AND QUID HAS HEARD that recent Velvet Elvis sightings in Aurora have been confirmed. Turns out the new spokesman for the Aurora Arts District, Jonny Barber, is a fellow artist who formerly performed as the “Velvet Elvis” in and around Aurora. It’ll take the likes of the King to command enough attention to push the fledgling arts district into the forefront of the metro area. Press releases really aren’t enough these days and Quid recommends a full-scale assault, perhaps with a gun and television set in some sort of performance art demonstration. If that doesn’t work, there’s always the opportunity for a street concert on Aurora’s end of the glorious ‘Fax. “In the Ghetto” is probably off limits.

AND QUID HAS HEARD  that Barber isn’t alone in making news as a news farmer. Seems Denver Post political reporter Lynn Bartels reports on her own Twitter account last week, “OMG. I was telling someone who was upset that I’m a GOP to call me and that I still love him, but I tweeted to the world. ” Oops. Social media is such a pesky thing to media types when they’re reporting on themselves. Bartels goes on to say that her political affiliation shouldn’t come as a shock since it’s public record, been previously reported, and that she’s held other political affiliations as well. So much for swiping the Post as just another vehicle for the slovenly liberal media to urp. “It’s all public record, baby. RT @joshuasharf: @lynn_bartels I didn’t think reporters were supposed to reveal their party affiliations.” Bartels a Republican? What’s next? Michael Rosen reveals his secret ACLU card?

AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS.