QUID HAS HEARD that my hot dog has a first name, it’s S-T-E-V-E. My hot dog has a last name too, it’s H-O-G-A-N. When the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile rolled into town the other day, folks from the bologna maker must have been stunned to see that Aurora has it’s own weeny — when it comes to rec centers anyway — and it just so happens that we elected him mayor. This week, reporter Rachel Sapin followed around roughly half of the city council as it toured the city’s rec center (basically singular) to rediscover how Aurora residents can take a number to use the treadmill if they don’t mind waiting three days. Hogan couldn’t attend the tour, but he offered up his assessment of a shoulder shrug and said we better figure something out or we’re gonna be in big trouble, dontchaknow. Across town, in a related/unrelated meeting at almost the same time, city officials were trying their hardest to faster get Gaylord Entertainment hundreds of millions in tax breaks to build a hotel on the side of our city that’ll be visible from space. Hopefully they’ll have a gym there that we can use, I suppose. 

QUID HAS HEARD honking. Lots of honking. All around our fair city the plains are alive with the sounds of engines idling, road cones wobbling and hand-held slow signs slowly turning from stop to slow. Aurora is under construction. We get it. Here’s what you can do: Chill out. If it takes you four extra minutes to traverse Peoria, I’m sorry. Those four minutes were likely going to be wasted on “Seinfeld” reruns and comparison shopping for paper towels. You’re getting a Nobel for neither of those things. Also, use the road that’s there. There’s no medal for merging first. Use all of the lanes and the space afforded. They actually want you to. Otherwise, crank up the Styx and sing another Journey song aloud. You’ll get home tonight, I promise. 

QUID HAS HEARD it’s Arapahoe County Fair time again and Quid didn’t get our invite to judge the beer — again. This year’s fair features a brewfest with some of Aurora’s super suds and despite our familiarity with 99.9 percent of Aurora’s brews (most in liver-bursting excess) we were not invited to judge the beers. No other profession prepares a body for alcohol consumption like journalism, and as near as we can tell, Arapahoe County is just choosing to ignore it’s natural talent pool once again. We’re still crossing our fingers to be Fair Queen this year, though. 

AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS