QUID HAS HEARD that early birds catch the worms, but the witching hour catches the worst of elected officials. Seems that the notorious testiness among nabobs running A-Town only gets worse as the night wears on. Monday night’s Aurora City Council meeting grew long and late with pesky Aurora types sending in endless comments to be read aloud during the city council’s “Public Invited to Be Slurred” feature of the weekly Zoomer. The comment section of the meeting simply boggles the minds of many a councilor. Back in day before the pandemic, naysayers, rabble-rousers and unsavory mansplainer types used to have to haul it in to city hall, wait through some serious Roberts Rules of Rancor and walk past the palpable dread of city employee types to assume the position at the lectern and let the three-minute scolding begin. City Hall assailants were the type to walk uphill to school both ways in a blizzard,. They used to bake obscene cakes to insult the mayor in person, rather than just piss him off by making him say up past his bedtime or miss a rerun of MASH. Now, complainants simply email their rants and City Clerk Saint Steve Ruger diligently reads each and every one, until he gets to three minutes worth of words. And St . Steve reads right along. As city nabobs faced hundreds of minutes of watching Ruger read into his computer camera, Mayor Mike called, “nope” after a few hours, making it clear that future marathon sessions will need built in time for grumpy grampa and grammy nappy hours if the city continues to take up matters of intense public interest after the sun sets.
AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS