QUID HAS HEARD that the Colorado show of shows this political season gets better every week. The Republican primary race for U.S. Senate isn’t quite the greatest show on earth, but the circus has definitely come to stay for a while. The star attraction has been the Colorado Secretary of State’s office, trotting out tap-dancing elephants to explain why three of the four Republicans who’ve petitioned their way, kinda, onto the primary ballot haven’t made it, and then they have, have not — who knows?  Add to the mix dead petition signers, barking dogs and the Colorado Supreme Court, and it’s a made-for-TV-news clown show. Which brings Quid to Jon Keyser. If you were in a coma or out having a life, Keyser’s campaign has nearly brought the curtain down on itself by mishandling a scandal about forged petition signatures. It’s unclear whether a dead woman who apparently signed Keyser’s ballot petition was a forgery victim, too. Rather than talk it off, Keyser went into hiding for several days, promoting the annoyingly intrepid Channel 7 News TV reporter Marshall Zelinger to go knocking on Keyser’s door. That resulted in no interview and Keyser launching thinly veiled threats to have his Marmaduke-alike eat him for lunch some day. A small-town debate found Keyser being pounded with questions to which he had only two answers: “I am on the ballot” and “Let’s talk about my Air Force career and national security.” Of course, this all played out to the joyful glee of local Democrats, only too happy to see Keyser and company squirm, with the lousy liberals salivating worse than Keyser’s really big dog. And speaking of squirm, when Keyser made his first since-then TV appearance at a Denver Post TV debate Tuesday night, and right after on a CNN Trump-like make-nice TV stand-up with Meghan, err, Mitchell, err, Marshall Zelinger, Keyser couldn’t stop talking about how awful it was that the voter forgery fraud had happened. And that he had nothing to do with it. And some of his best friends had their identity stolen. And he’s in the Air Force, you know. Intelligence. And in the rapid and repeated and is-that-guy-OK-endless-blink-of-an-eye or two, it was all over as far as Keyser was concerned, and he’s packing for Washington. Quid advises Keyser, his four troop members and Bennet as well to resist clowning around when it comes to giving straight answers to voters’ questions. As reckless as is the presidential race these days, any wrong turn cause a political pile-up.

AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS.