QUID HAS HEARD that we can all expect to catch up on our email and read a good book next year as we crawl up I-70 to schuss at one of Colorado’s fabulous and overpriced ski areas. Seems that state highway wonks were unable to persuade legislators to impose the death penalty or something like that for ne’er-do-wells who have the temerity to drive their Midwest and southern flat-land-mobiles without snow tires. You see, fellow type-A turners, the Colorado Department of Transportation has cleverly figured out that the reason I-70 morphs into a 90-mile-long parking lot from Genessee to Vail every Saturday and Sunday that there’s any decent snow is because some dirtbag drivers don’t have the courtesy to spend big bucks on snow tires. Despite what you had previously suspected, the weekly traffic jams have nothing to do with way too few lanes trying to accommodate way too many cars filled with way too many people wearing way too much North Face, all determined to get to the same place at the same time. You probably thought that because you think you look hot in Spandex and because you’re not a qualified CDOT engineer. But those wily CDOT brains couldn’t persuade legislators to buy into a law that would require I-70 gapers to don either snow tires, chains or four-wheelers to spend about $2 billion a year up on the hills. Some of those legislators asked stupid questions like, “If we do this for I-70, shouldn’t we do it everywhere else in the state since it snows there, too, and there’s no shortage of morons behind the wheel, especially out there in Aurora on I-225?” At least Quid remembers it that way. Others asked equally stupid questions like, “How did we ever make it there an back in the 1960s when we didn’t have four-wheel drive?”

AND QUID HAS HEARD that Colorado’s favorite Grinch is in trouble again. Seems the perennially irascible tax protester and reporter kicker Douglas Bruce could be headed back to the hoosegow. The former state lawmaker, author of the much-love-hated Taxpayer Bill of Rights, county commissioner and hater of all things taxes was jailed in 2012 for tax evasion. This week, he’s in trouble for violating parole. He told the Denver Post, “I’m the biggest nose in Colorado,” during a quintessential Bruce stand-up. “They’re picking on me big time.” For Quid, he just remains the reason why Colorado can’t have nice things. Throw away the key.

AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS