QUID HAS HEARD that Colorado is not only the go-to state for millennials and potheads, but this is the place where national political scion-ettes come to rule the land. Seems that Colorado’s wide-open gubernatorial race has attracted Bush dynasty’s state Treasurer Walker Stapleton, who just can’t seem to find a day to announce when someone else is doing that very thing. And now, the race has lured Mitt Romney’s nephew, Doug Robinson, to the growing fray. You can imagine that the other 437 candidates also running for Colorado governor are royally pissed about the fast and easy attention those famous family names bring, let alone all that cash. Quid senses a trend here, and predicts that all sorts of political blue-bloods will be rushing to the Centennial State to take up residence in the Residence.
Few readers know that Clinton scion Socks the Cat is still around and interested in running Colorado. Word is that Socks is actually the black cat of the Clinton family, and, if elected, promises to deport all the unlicensed dogs in the state. In trying to get comment from Socks, your faithful hack was foiled because Socks’ email account was hacked and unavailable to queries.
And while Kennedy cousin Michael Skakel can’t throw his hat in the ring yet, he is expected to throw in his orange jumpsuit. Skakel, nephew of Robert F and Ethyl, is back in prison for murdering a neighbor when he was 15 years old. He maintains he’s innocent, and being a Kennedy, figures that murder accusations are nothing to fear when running for office. No word yet on Nixon, Reagan or Trump DNA headed for Colorado’s gold dome.
AND QUID HAS HEARD that since the South Koreans have sent very little — actually, no — money to Aurora during the past 20 years or so, we’ll take Aurora money over to them. Seems that a long time ago, when Aurora adopted Seongnam City as Aurora’s municipal sibling, it was a sure thing that the international ties would pay off big in jobs and cultural ties. The only ones with jobs were the sister city officials and the only cultural exchange was a boon for boba shops across the region. So no less than 26 city hoohaws are taking your tax dollars and some personal credit cards to South Korea, determined to bring home the bacon this time. Quid has seen a variety of these sister city scenarios play out and predicts that Denver’s step-sister city will be boasting a little K-Pop and new flavors of boba soon. Why not reach out to foreign places like Oklahoma and Nebraska next time?
AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS