QUID HAS HEARD that our World Champion Denver Broncos are looking to upgrade ol’ Mile High after bringing home the Lombardi Trophy. It may take some time, seeing as the Super Bowl victors need to saddle up with a new quarterback now that Peyton Manning has started riding off into a sunset filled with even more pizza and car commercials. But no matter how long the to-do list is for General Manager John Elway and the motley crew of Bowlen kiddos running the show these days, one item will need attention sooner rather than later: What to call the damn stadium? With Sports Authority more focused on Chapter 11 than 1st-and-10, it’s almost a given that Broncos faithful will be introduced to yet another paid name for the one-time Invesco Field less than five years after the beleaguered sporting-goods retailer inked the deal to take over the naming-rights pact.
One reader reached out and suggested Hizzoner Steve Hogan should rally council members to put in a bid to make it ‘City of Aurora Field at Mile High.’ As much as A-Town is worth discovering, it’s probably not quite worth the $6 million a year to pull off such a deal. But if the powers that be around this burg really want to stick it in Denver’s craw, perhaps our friends over at Gaylord Rockies could be persuaded to pony up the Bronco bucks to slap the litigation-proof resort’s name up there. But virtually any corporate moniker would work — just no Papa John’s. The thought of having the erstwhile Donald Trump of pizzas featured atop Mile High makes us choke on our chicken parm while driving our Buicks. Luckily, Nationwide is still on our side.
AND QUID HAS HEARD that proud boot wearer and Congressman Ken Buck is the only Republican member of the congressional delegation sleeping easy these days. While Sen. Cory Gardner, Aurora Rep. Mike Coffman and others all jostle with the fact that one-time establishment golden boy “Little” Marco Rubio appears on the brink of calling off his campaign, Buck lucked out by throwing his support behind perpetual GOP primary runner-up Sen. Ted Cruz. The Texan by way of Canada is looking to be the Grand Old Party’s last, best hope of preventing the fascist Donald Trump from winning the Republican presidential nomination. No word yet on if there would be a spot in a Cruz Cabinet for Buck, or if the remaining federal department chief gigs would go to the “Duck Dynasty” cast.
AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS.