QUID HAS HEARD that the Colorado GOP has seen the enemy, and them is them. Seems conservatives across the Centennial state have taken to munching each other as Colorado lines up to support either Ted Cruz or Donald Trump and vehemently loathe and despise the other. Quid, sensing a tailor-made tabloid treat every day, already has spotted endless GOP loyalists touting polls about Her Inevitableness clobbering Trump at the polls. Likewise, Trump-ettes, angry that Cruz bothered to read the instructions for Colorado’s GOP Delegate Hunt and Trump did not, have been dredging up old state party gossip. State GOP Chairman Steve House’s “friendship” with Julie Naye, which led to allegations of badgering and blackmailing House to step down, have surfaced again, courtesy of Trump supporters. Recent pictures of Cruz and Naye, as well as alleged death threats toward House, are twitterpating Colorado political tweetrolls all over. Quid is sure that Trumpeters will soon be administering litmus tests across the state, and that’s got to be making other Naye-scent scandalistas unhappy and at least a little nervous. Never one for coy, your faithful hack reminds dear readers that it was none less than Colorado Attorney General Cynthia Coffman and former Congressman Tom “Nuke ‘Em’” Tancredo dragged through the political mud during the big House fire last year. Not only is the whine nearly deafening from Camp Trump, but the squeals of joy and peels of laughter from Team Blue are off the charts.
AND QUID HAS HEARD that historical accuracy is big with U.S. House Speaker and Gym Rat Pro Tempore Paul Ryan. Watching Donald Trump the Fascist egg on his supporters into a scorched-earth battle with the Republican Party powers that be, Ryan decided that’s just the wrong iteration of one-time Union general William Tecumseh Sherman for the GOP to be projecting. But with conservatives scrambling to avoid the march to Cleveland turning into the march to Atlanta, Ryan did his brethren in the RNC no favors by invoking Sherman in declaring, “I do not want, nor will I accept the nomination for the party.” This willingness to stand up to his own party and not subject himself to the ongoing circus that is the GOP presidential primary is just the sort of thing Quid looks for in a chief executive. Just as Sherman stood by Grant when he was drunk, he seems like just the person to stand for the rest of the Republican Party while it’s gone crazy.
AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS.