QUID HAS HEARD that The Real Donald Trump may not be such a hot candidate for president, but he’s an awesome muse for the #NeverEndingStory of #NeverTrump. Seems that as The Donald trumples his own campaign with threatening shots at Hillary and endless shots fired at his own feet, fellow Republicans are beginning to see the writing on the poll. The line of Republicans determining they want to live is suddenly getting long. Notables like senators Jeff Flake of Arizona and Ben Sasse of Nebraska, the former GOP governors of Minnesota, Michigan, New Yawwk and Pennsylvania, and a couple hundred assorted Republican hoo haws have publicly told the billionaire hopeful that he sucks that bad. Not on the list? Colorado Republicans, as of Wednesday, were absent among #NeverTrumpers, as the list appeared in The Hill, the go-to-choice for conservatives on the go. Seems that as fellow Republicans are making a run for the life rafts, Colorado’s top GOP officials are holding a cricket concert featuring “Nearer My GOP to Thee.” These Republican rebels have shunned the #NeverTrump exodus in favor of their own campaigns. Darryl Glenn, a Republican candidate for U.S. Senate who just couldn’t stop saying enough good about Trump just a couple weeks ago, now seems embroiled in a #NeverMind effort to get mainstream voters to forget his recent ring-kissing. Seated GOP Sen. Cory Gardner, who never met an question he couldn’t avoid, has begun his #NeverSayNeverEver campaign, making it clear he’s not going to be. And equally murky is Aurora’s own Congressman Mike Chameleon a.k.a. Coffman. Coffman is the only Republican to say Trump doesn’t smell very good, but missed making the list in The Hill of those who insist Trump actually reeks. Coffman, who’s been sucking up to the myriad of immigrants his transformed district now represents, is running on the #NuncaEsMuchoTiempo platform, keeping his options open and his voters confused. Then there’s Colorado Springs psychologically rick-rolled Congressman Doug Lamborn, who will never say anything about anyone that helps him keep his job, professing that he’s #NeverGonnaGiveYouUp. Finally, there are those Colorado Republicans who think this will all blow over and Trump will trample that broom woman with the winged monkeys, politicos like Tom Tancredo, sending in their ballots from #Neverland in several weeks. Quid’s expert prediction of The Donald giving the OK to nuke some trade deals and the countries he doesn’t like? #NeverMyLove.
AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS