QUID HAS HEARD that Aurora Public Schools board member Eric Nelson just isn’t feeling the love these days. Exposed by the Colorado Statesman’s Ernest Luning, this rag and Denver7 political reporting ace Marshall “Mitch” Zelinger for not being totally honest about not actually having the trophy case full of advanced degrees that he claimed he’d earned with honors, his fellow Dems in Aurora and at the statehouse quickly circled their wagons and shunned Nelson, opting to quickly endorse Dominique “Nikki” Jackson in the primary to replace state Senate-wannabe Rhonda Fields. It can’t be easy for Nelson to suddenly be on the outside of the political bandwagon and at risk of being forced out of his seat on the school board — at least not as easy as it would be to forge a couple of diplomas poorly enough to get quickly caught while trying to clear your name. So if any of you young readers are out there and don’t immediately see the lesson from this sordid tale — Quid reminds you that honesty is the best policy, and if you’re trying to score a fake ID to go buy booze in the grocery store sometime in the next few years, you might want to hire someone other than the recently denounced Nelson.
AND QUID HAS HEARD the Colorado whacky weed industry will probably maintain its wicked high no matter what kind of regulations state fun-crushers impose on edible dope. This week, Gov. John Hickenlooper signed a bill forbidding chefs du THC from creating goodies that clearly look like kiddie candies, such as gummy bears. The logic is obvious, and Quid applauds any and all efforts to raise the bar on all foods and consumers who think the odd little European plugs of mildly sweet ear wax even remotely resemble food or candy. In a state where all things good come from Colorado’s new beloved state flower, Purple Haze, the folks in charge of cooking up one helluva high have learned their lesson not to flirt with stoning the chillun’. What to do? Cannabis-laced Brussels sprouts? Lemon Diesel-infused espresso beans? Bleh. Quid points out the obvious that if you don’t want to draw scrutiny over potential kidstuff, go for what they’ll never touch. Look soon for OG Kush dishwasher pellets, an item never touched by children. Likewise, Trainwreck-coated lawnmower handles. Never seen a kid in its life. Green Hornet sprayed garage broom handles? Your secret is safe.
AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS.