QUIDNUNC: Christmas comes early for scroogy hacks at election time

145

QUID HAS HEARD that every dog and dogged hack still has his day. Seems that the lowliest animal on the rock these days is not the buzzard nor the personal -injury lawyer. It’s the scum-of-the-earth reporter,  including your faithful hack. Seems that all year long, Quid sits around glum-faced eavesdropping on the working types here who beg for sources to call them back. Quid gets all-a-quiver from desperate hacks pleading with local elected to say something, anything to keep jerks on the news desks from forcing them to keep dialing for sources, numbers, and that rarest of rare, the plum quote. But once a year, as if it were magic, politicians, just the ones needing votes next month, are all over the newsroom. Phone calls, impromptu visits, email, text, tweets, posts and the occasional owl comes by, putting every elected in the state at the fingertips of these hacks, for ever so briefly and sweetly. Of course the jelly ride gets significantly stickier when the paper makes endorsements, and the phone rings nocturnal when the election is finally over. But for the next few sweet and ever-so-brief weeks, the hacks at this pathetic rag get treated with all of the respect and decorum they so richly deserve but don’t get for the rest of the year.

AND QUID HAS HEARD that the dope on Hillary and mini-me is disturbing. Seems that royal offspring Chelsea Clinton was recently stumping for Her Inevitableness this week in Youngstown , Ohio and started going off script to fill the time, something that every political campaign manager dreads like the southerly polls. The younger Clinton started talking about the danger of drugs and included the much-maligned reefer, tossing off that, “We also have anecdotal evidence now from Colorado where some of the people who were taking marijuana for those purposes, the coroner believes, after they died, there was drug interactions with other things they were taking.”  That drew deep slow breaths and huge rebukes from partakers and researchers alike. Who knew dopers smoked even after they died. The science consensus is just the opposite. Like some hacks from NY newspapers that should know better, you might get so high you wished you would die, but dope doesn’t kill. Drops in the polls kill. Now that Colorado is once-again flirting with swing-state status, it might be wise for the entire Clinton clan to tread softly on our billion-dollar boom here in Colorado. As for Trump, Quid suggests he try some.

AND THAT’S AL THE NEWS THAT FITS.