QUID HAS HEARD that the lack of a proper Republican candidate for U.S. Senate next year won’t make the race any less entertaining. At least now that former Aurora councilman Ryan Frazier has thrown his “As Seen On TV” hat into the ring, there will be no shortage of intriguing dispatches from the campaign. You may know Mr. Frazier best for losing the last two elections he ran in — one to hizzoner Steve Hogan, another to Congressman Ed Perlmutter — before joining the likes of Dr. John Torres as an on-air “expert” for the Denver NBC affiliate. But you’d be wrong to label him simply as an electoral loser as a candidate — Ryan also pushed a loser of a ballot measure back in 2008 with the would-be union-crippling Amendment 47.
Yet hope always springs eternal in politics, and F. Scott Fitzgerald must have been really deep into some bad absinthe when he wrote that “there are no second acts in American lives.” If anything, Frazier was tailor-made for the U.S. Senate, a halfway house for politicians with low attendance records and high aspirations. Put Frazier’s Aurora council attendance record right up against the show-up rates of Marco Rubio and you’ll realize he’s downright presidential material. So let Quid be clear: It’s time for Ryan Frazier to end this farce of a Senate campaign and announce his intent for the White House, so the good people of Iowa and New Hampshire can learn to love/loathe him the way Quid does. Onward and upward.
AND QUID HAS HEARD that the hallowed message that graces this page week in, week out made it all the way to whatever bunker that Rep. Gordon “Dr. Chaps” Klingenschmitt calls home, sweet home. After last week’s missive essentially ruled him out as being too wacky to even fill the empty seat of lieutenant governor as an empty suit, Doc Chappie reached out to the folks that run this rag to let them know he was enraptured and appreciates “the confidence in me,” alas, that he doesn’t think he’s “a viable candidate” for the gig — “yet.” Quid’s heard that the ever-so-slightly askew writing style can be difficult to parse, so here’s a clearer, more concise estimation of Chappie’s chances at higher office: (Editor’s note: Quid left 12 sheets of hand-scribbled pages consisting of “Hahahahahaha” repeated over and over).
AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS.
Well, well, Quid, what we have done had Lincoln given up after losing two elections? Where would Aurora be if Council Member LeGare gave up after losing two elections. What would we all do if Quid, having failed to be humorous, gave up after only two tries?