PERRYBLOG: Truth In Advertising Secret Service handles for GOP presidential candidates

Oh, no, no,  no. Presidential contenders don’t get off that easy like Republicans did on the CNN stage Wednesday night when moderators pitched the softball question about what they thought their Secret Service presidential “handle” would be if they made it through the night and into the White House.

Each candidate came up with some puffery, gushy goo that they thought said something about their presidential mettle.

But here are the Secretive Service monikers these folks really deserve:

President Ron Paul: Scarecrow.

President Chris Christie: Spanky

President Scott Walker: Eddie Haskel

President Marco Rubio: Brony

President Ted Cruz: Liberace

President Mike Huckabee: Mr. Haney

President Carly Fiorina: Morticia

President Ben Carson: Sleepy

President Jeb! Bush: Babs

President John Kasich: Who

President Donald Trump: Jethro

President Lyndsey Graham: Jeeves

President Rick Santorum: Dr. Phibes

President Bobby Jindahl: Howdy Doody

President George Pataki: Otis

Why stop there?

President Hillary Clinton: Her majesty

President Bernie Sanders: The Colonel

President Joe Biden: Bullwinkle

President Jim Webb: Dr. X