So within 5 minutes on the Denver-area radio station I was listening to today, the advertisements were for:
• Men with low testosterone –“which can result in those dreaded sexual problems”
• Parents with stupid children — “My daughter’s very smart but just can’t keep up in school. At 32, the other kids make fun of her trouble with math.”
• Putting Mama in a home — “Just shut up and get in the car”
• Men getting the hair permanently removed from their backs, FOR HER — “I’m still not touching you.”
• A way to lose 30 pounds in 30 days from those trouble spots and never feel hungry once! — “Ask-your-doctor-first-before-undergoing-an-induced-coma-not-all-patients-regain-conciousness-risk-of-permanent-death-and-or-brain-damage-is-considerable-after-10-days-in-a-coma-patients-must-agree-not-to-sue-anyone”
• And finally, an ad for better bifocals that don’t look like bifocals so no one will know how old you are even though you’re fat, bald, stooped and hold your iPhone upside down all the time and order nothing but the daily specials because you couldn’t read the tiny print on those damned menus even if they did turn up the lights.
The station used to rock. Sounds now like they’re rocking a bunch of fat, limp, hairy, nearsighted, losers living in their parents’ basements. Go, Deadheads.
— Follow Dave Perry on Twitter and Facebook @EditorDavePerry
1. KUVO
2. KVOD
3. As soon as you hear something other than music; change the station. It is why car radios have buttons.
4. iPod
Don’t be angry. Take control of your life.
Satellite radio! Solves radio listening (at least as long as you are receiving signal)
Get Sirius XM. No ads, worth the money.
On the old DENVER TIGER, THE MIGHTY 95 or THE ALL AMERICAN 710 I never heard what you call ads that suck. That was because of something called “the fairness doctrine” which limited what could be put on the air. In 1987, the doctrine was abolished, leading to what we have now. Which for the most part is a good thing. On the down side are ads for ambulance chasers, so called marital aids and miracle drugs, the value of which is suspect. What we do have now is music, if you can call it that, that does suck. However elimination of the doctrine did not eliminate radio station buttons on car radios. There are at least 50 stations in the 7 county metro area not including stations in Colorado Springs, Greeley and Cheyenne, Wyoming that you can pick up. And don’t forget that someone is paying the stations to air these ads, Dave so that you can continue to hear your favorite hip hop/rap ditty.