It’s high time that more Americans endorsed Donald Trump for president, and let me lead the way.

Nope. Neither of us are ripping drunk or high — I’ve seen the light, and it’s on the front of a freight train I don’t fancy being flattened by.

‘Murica is lovin’ it some Trump for Prez, and I can see why. The Donald solves problems while all the rest of the flapping jaws just yap, yap, yap.

While people like President Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Jeb Bush, and even total morons like Texas Sen. Ted “I-Know-You-Hate-Me-But-I-Hate-You-More” Cruz, agonize over creating complex solutions to increasingly complex problems, the Donald has no such trouble. Like a man without a conscience or a brain, rather a lot like a sociopath, The Donald sees the problem, sees a solution, and announces it without fear of criticism or much of anything. The guy talks like a man with more money than God, and he knows that in this country, that makes him more powerful than God.

He is brutally honest and frank. Not like the politically naive little boy exclaiming that the king is butt naked, but more like a smelly old senile uncle that blurts out at a family reunion that his great-great-niece has got great big breasts or that he just crapped his pants and somebody damned well better do something about it.

But you know what? While a lesser man or woman would suffer a crampy colon, Trump is the kind of guy who will find relief, clean undies and never do anything but give orders.

What’s not to like? Who among us wouldn’t want to lead our lives like this every single day? Wife gives you lip about not having mowed the lawn or having found that pile of stinky socks you’ve been kicking under the bed? Shut the hell up. Don’t like it, honey? Plenty of women standing in line behind you for the chance to say, “I do — Love stinky socks under the bed,” and, “I do — think your hair looks hot like that combed up from your neck hair. I do, baby!”

I, too,  do want any part of that one-one-hundredth-of-one-percent that I can get.

Clinton and Bush babble endlessly about how every move we make in changing immigration laws affects real businesses, real people, real lives, and even our own daily lives. But I get it that these people are just foreigners. We’re real Americans who had our deadbeat European ancestors do our immigrating for us.

Not Trump. Shut the  hell up, he says. Kick those creepy Mexican rapists and welfare queens right back across the border.

Yeah, and hellzyeah! No more Latinos sucking up all the great roofing and lawn-care jobs that real Americans should be busting their humps for 8 bucks an hour. I’ll bet your grandmother or middle-school daughter would kill for a chance to clean up motel rooms for minimum wage and occasional tips instead of just sitting around, watching TV and collecting Social Security or living off the parents.

Hell, yeah, I want those jobs back for me and my family. I don’t want to press “1” for anything other than long distance. I want my Mexican food from Taco Bell the way I like it and not in a language I can’t read at the check-out stands. I want 1972 back so bad I’m willing to vote for Trump to get it. I liked the Cold War with the USSR and big ol’ cars that said, “This Is What America Is All About.”

Trump gets it that we don’t have to worry about splitting up families among people who may or may not have complete citizenship here. Throw them all out. They all have to go, he says. You don’t want to leave your legal 6-year-old son here when we throw your 32-year-old illegal alien butt out? Don’t! Take the kid with you and let someone here have that fancy one-bedroom apartment on Federal in Adams County.

I get it now. It isn’t that we can’t get stuff done because the world has become so wildly complicated, it’s because we care. Who cares if we have to spend trillions of dollars to create an American Gestapo to sniff out, round up and ship out illegal aliens? What to do with trillions of dollars of real estate and other property these illegals own? Who cares? Get ‘em out and we’ll figure it out later. It’s not like we don’t have real estate people looking for something to do. And what about the 9 million or so jobs that will suddenly go empty? Who cares? The millions and millions of Americans who immediately lose their jobs from the impact of shipping millions and millions of illegals out of the country can, I dunno, have those jobs. Yeah. It builds character to clean Walmart toilets for 8 bucks an hour, and we could all use a little dose of character.

So I’m on it. I’m all about getting Trump into the White House, or wherever it is his private chopper takes him to run the country — with one, simple caveat.

I’ll stand behind his plan to wall up ‘Murica on the Mexican border and bus millions of people out of the country, if Trump and Congress agree to punish any business or any person who gives employment to any illegal alien. Every real American gets a work card, or a chip in their neck, their choice. Once the Trumpstapo ousts all the Mexicans, they can start policing U.S. businesses. You see, that’s why we have the illegal alien problem we have here. It’s businesses who hire illegals because they work for so cheap. If you are caught hiring someone who’s not a documented U.S. citizen, you go to jail for a long, long time. If your employee has faked their ID to get a job? You go to jail for just a few months. It’s too easy to just charge fines, which businesses can painlessly offset because illegal alien labor is so cheap and plentiful. They have to go to jail for at least one year, because clearly, illegal immigration is that serious of a problem, that it would dominate the national conversation. Like Trump points out, we call them “illegals” because they’re criminals. I get it, now. So we send business owners and managers to jail because it’s critically illegal to hire non-citizens. It’s a crime, and in ‘Murica, criminals go to jail. Problem solved.

That’s it. You jail the people who made this immigration calamity possible, and I’ll back your plan to ship humans out in rail cars. And when my fellow Americans find out that the great Mexican round-up is going to send the price of hotels, McDonald’s and everything at Walmart sky high, and make building a new house move way past double-digit increases, they’re going to flip.

But I’m not worried. Trump will think of something.

Reach @EditorDavePerry on Twitter or Facebook, or via email at dperry@aurorasentinel.com.

24 replies on “PERRY: Trump raises tea party hopes with ‘I Hit A DREAMer’ speech”

  1. $8.00 an hour, what a joke, just like all the other liberals, spout untruths and lies and all the rest of your ilk will understand and laugh.

    Trump is a breath of fresh air, not the hot air that comes out of DC, especially since the ‘uniter’ took office. But since you agree with him, he’s allowing even more of these non-contributors into the country, (unless you can find $8.00 an hour jobs for young mothers with their two or more kids, who can’t speak English and have no skills) this time from Central and South America, Mexico wasn’t enough. Hillary has already began the ‘give away’ promises, ‘free colleges for all’ Well hell, it’s only $500 Billion and we have plenty to give away to those who just can’t seem to do for themselves, and ‘what difference does it make now’?

    What I didn’t read in your ranting, was any plan on what to do with the laws in this country, you know, those pesky laws that get in the way of your quest, borders, who needs ’em! Prisons, who needs ’em! Drivers licenses, who needs ’em! Speaking the language, who needs it! (we’ll get them to make Spanish available on every business and phone call in the country, and print all their labels in Spanish too!, oh yes we will)

    And once you and all your liberal brothers and sisters get your way, what then? A country full of multi-national cultures, none speaking any language but their home countries, all without jobs, all without skills, all hungry, all needing shelter, all needing health care, all needing education for their children, what then Perry?

    1. Hey gofastgo, they’re coming after our dwindling retirement checks and savings. What do you think happens when you get 0.1% on your savings and next to zero cost of living adjustments when inflation is much higher. It goes into higher government spending, higher deficits, and the Fed’s need to keep interest rates low in order to slow down this whole unsustainable albatross. In other words, they’re coming after what’s left of the middle class in order to enlarge and maintain Obama’s enhanced social safety net, which includes the ACA.

      1. Democrats have always been Socialists Joe. They needed to address those who could not , or would not, pay for health insurance, and those who could not afford health insurance because of preexisting conditions, but instead, they went after the whole industry.

        1. All the usual teabag wing nuts from Ashley in Aurora to Frank reminiscing about the dark ages to goo man hashing his usual wing nut buffoonery.

          Go Dave. You’ve got these clowns hopping in the cheap seats.

    2. There’s that “Trump is a breath of fresh air” thing again. Wonder what air the goo man is sampling. His own I sure. (Lets not go there)

  2. Like a man watching a tear filled, nonsensical diatribe from a hysterical woman, I sit here blank and in disbelief of the melt down you just had. The man must then ask the crazed woman, are you through yet?
    Dave, pull your big girl panties up already and get a grip on yourself. Breathe, breathe. You’re going to be alright Dave. If you like your Mexican housekeeper and Mexican gardener, you’ll be able to keep your Mexican housekeeper and Mexican gardener!

    1. Ashley,
      I wonder what Dave will write about if 2016 rotates the power in Washington and in Colorado. I told him years ago, that if he stuck with it, he might one day be a good reporter. Then the papers died, and he inherited editor’s position. I have to wonder how much grief his daughter gets, with his leftist editorials.
      In my youth, and middle life I realized just how tough the minister’s children had from their peers, and from older folks always watching them for miscues.
      Kind of puts a tear in the eye, to think of that. Todays PC world is much tougher than the years I lived.

    2. Yeah Dave! Show Ashley in Aurora how to pull up those “big girl panties”. Sounds like Ashley is having trouble with hers.

  3. Item of interest: Trump is in Mobile Alabama now. Had a room reserved, decided too small, moved, then moved again, and now are meeting in the football stadium. Capacity (seats) for 40,000. Had RSVPs for 42,000. And they just showed on TV with crowd, and others still in parking lot coming in. Trump had just arrived in parking lot, and probably speaking now. He is the real McCoy, and he is bringing in the silent majority, who have been quiet, 2/3rds not registering or voting. Think they are fed up, just as I am, and we are not going to take it any more. I look for him to have GOP side, and I also believe what I read today that Obama has allowed DOJ and FBI to investigate Hillary. She has created a colossal security violation, that leads past her into every exectutive position, including the intelligence agencies. With Snowden and Manning giving Russians and Chinese the administrator codes, and her emails not encrypted, on secure lines or circuits, everyone who wrote to her, or she to them has been vulnerable for past 4 years. John Kerry is complaining his emails are being read. How do you play poker, if all players know your cards? Just asking? She has shown fantastic lack of judgment, and is still treating it as a joking matter. DUH!!!!! Biden may campaign, but he is just as vulnerable to having been hacked, and known to other side.
    Folks at that level are supposed to show more intelligence, security, and be very careful. GO TRUMP. PROBLEM SOLVER, GET THE JOB DONE, MOVE ON.

    1. Trump would bring real hope and change. However, I don’t think the Republicans can win a national election at this point in time, perhaps ever. The 47% has become the 53% and are looking for more government handouts. You got millions of illegal immigrants bringing utility bills and other forms of ‘ID’ with temporary addresses to the polls in order to vote their interests, which mostly involve increasing taxes and voting for Democrats. But not to worry, Hillary Clinton is coming to the rescue by offering free college and loan forgiveness. And, she’ll offer even more free stuff as we get closer to election.

      1. I have my hope. And as I said, I have my change from his policies in my pocket. They took a heap of my pension with their asinine policies
        One good thing, is at 86 in November, I won’t have to worry too long about it. When God calls me home, I am almost ready. Have a will and durable power of attorney (long time now) but thinking of a durable trust to keep the dam lawyers out of my affairs. Especially the judges. Last 20 years has been a change in my thinking about them, though I was doubtful of them before that.

        1. You’re the man. Hope your planning works out for you. Just stay out of the nursing home, as shared colds and flu are a major source of mortality among the residents.

          1. Nursing homes can deplete assets faster than we accumulated them, and patients are at mercy of the aides. None of us like to lose our independence, and nurses – aides don’t like for patients to set up and read for hour during the night, Then have set regimen of eat, bathroom, bath, doctor, at beck and call of anyone who comes in.

    2. Trump said today
      How is Bernie Sanders going to defend our country if he can’t even defend his own microphone? Very sad!

Comments are closed.