Donald Trump isn’t funny.
After months of scrutiny and head scratching, I have finally uncovered what’s so unnerving to me about the bombastic billionaire.
He’s utterly humorless. So, too, are his rabid fans.
Oh, sure, the man is an absolute comedian when it comes to being a candidate for president. But that’s unintentional. I wouldn’t even consider insulting my Republican friends and colleagues by dubbing him the “GOP nominee.” He’s not a Republican and may destroy that party as he hijacks it to November. Trump commandeered the Republican Party to bully his way forward like a rabies virus spreads across a victim’s neurons.
He can, however, certainly be compelling. When you watch Trump acting the part of a presidential candidate, he’s a riot. That’s how he went viral so fast, spreading out beyond the relatively small pool of tea-party victims.
He makes outrageous statements that you can’t help but bust out laughing at.
“(Saddam Hussein) was a bad guy — really bad guy,” Trump said at a North Carolina rally. “But you know what he did well? He killed terrorists. He did that so good. They didn’t read them the rights. They didn’t talk. They were a terrorist, it was over. Today, Iraq is Harvard for terrorism.”
I spit up my coffee some at that one.
Of course he isn’t trying to be funny, and when he does make his odd attempts at humor, it almost always ends up being churlish, snide or seriously unsavory.
“I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”
What a dad. What a leader.
While Trump was delivering his big bombast on the last day of the GOP convention, it struck me how joyless and grudging everything seemed to be. The speech was just another doleful, grim, dour rant, like all the others but longer.
I’d been misled about him and his followers because they sometimes smile and even grin, giving the impression that they’re happy or laughing. But there clearly is no bliss or warmth in Trump’s world or in the lives of those who either crave his flagrantly racist, sexist, populist, dullish banter, or overlook it because he’s hawking something they’re no longer ashamed to want — like a steak, nonsense trade deals, torture talk, a round of golf, ejected Mexicans, a scam college or some other infomericialism that bilks the infirm late at night. Trump is the Walter Drake of American politics.
He and his cohorts may imitate joy when they see an enemy falter or when they get their way, but they confuse the emotion with satisfaction.
Missing from Trump is the intellectualism that’s expressed as wit or humor — even zinging wit or the sarcasm that’s the stock and trade of the irreverent left. Humor comes from seeing and appreciating irony. It comes from being imaginative and creative.
None of that exists in Donald Trump’s world, a place rife with cliches, hyperbole and sound bites that leave no room for the nuance and complexity that real life is all about. His attempts at humor fail because of his cruelty and vindictiveness.
No one in Camp Trump can revel in the satisfying fun that comes from poking fun at themselves. They don’t understand the trust and camaraderie that self-deprecation builds, the sheer fun that comes from being able to laugh at yourself and indulge in it. He’s no fun at all, and his joyless followers like it that way.
Clearly there’s plenty of money and glamorous events in Trump’s life, but I can’t think of a single time that I’ve heard that man talk — and man, can that man talk — about having fun.
He’s like a cook who tries to recreate a foreign dish only by seeing pictures of it. Trump imitates life but has no real connection to it. That’s why he is so crass and uninteresting. For him, life is nothing more than the next deal, the next building, the next wife, the next place to fill up on public attention. His wealth bought him fame — he did not become rich because he was famous. He doesn’t understand that television news allows you to follow important national and international policy stories. It was never intended to be a foundation for developing economic and foreign policy.
I’m not saying that I want a president who just yucks it up all the time. I want a leader who’s deep-thinking, intelligent, knowledgeable, observant and intuitive. And that’s what humorous people are like.
But not Trump. Not his sullen and catty throngs of followers. They’re campaigning for a country where chosen people would be able to exist, but nobody would really live. And that’s not funny.
Follow @EditorDavePerry on Twitter and Facebook, or reach him at dperry@aurorasentinel.com.