If the blur among the headlines and the 600 bills debated at the Colorado Legislature over the last four months have you looking the other way, look here.
Besides the attention-grabbing proposals addressing gun-rights and gun-wrongs, a looming state budget crisis and endless noise from the new Trump administration, a lot happened.
Here are a few legislative nuggets that probably got past you in the 180-day race to sin die.
Gunning for jail bait
It makes sense that stealing a gun is a crime, but until this year, stealing a cheap gun in Colorado was only a petty offense. House Bill 1062 changed that after being signed by Gov. Jared Polis. Stealing any gun is now a felony, punishable by up to 18 months in jail. Insult to injury if you live here, Denver CBS TV news reports that as many as 550 guns are stolen from cars each year.Another 400 guns or so are reported stolen or lost by their owners each year. Clearly, it’s still not a crime to be stupid, just to steal from stupid people.
Pet peeves
Thinking of sealing the deal in a Target parking lot for that cute little four-legged fur-ball about to become the next member of your family? Better not. House Bill 1180 makes it a misdemeanor crime to sell, buy, offer or deliver a pet in just about any public place. The target of the new law is pet robbers, puppy mills or other dog and cat ne’er-do-wells. Swept up in the move to improve animal welfare are those who don’t want dodgy dog sellers or buyers at the house.
Automatic outs not ins
It’s as if state lawmakers read your mind as you peruse your credit card bill and see that you were automatically re-subscribed to another year’s Seed of the Month club or some awkward phone app you have no idea what possessed you to subscribe to in the first place. Thanks to Senate Bill 145, any automatic subscription in Colorado must provide you with a chance to opt in person or online before they get you on the hook for another year. It doesn’t take effect until 2026, so enjoy those Gerbil Snacks of the Month from Around the World for a few months longer.
Fee fight foe fumble
State lawmakers totally got part of House Bill 1090 right. The measure forces all kinds of businesses, and mostly landlords, to disclose the final cost of rent upfront to renters. Complaints are rampant about apartment complexes nicking renters for trash fees, pesticide fees, laundry room maintenance fees and much more. While the measure also applies to businesses like delivery services and restaurants, it does not apply equally. The measure makes clear that restaurants can continue to charge patrons mandatory fees for kitchen workers or anything they want, they just have to make it clear somewhere that’s what they’re doing. How clear is clear isn’t very clear. If a restaurant adds 15% kitchen service fees to every tab, they should be forced to raise their prices 15% and drop the “fee.” Maybe next time.
Vax a knot
House Bill 1027 offered yet another shot in the dark for returning to a world that was moving toward eradicating the planet of a variety of diseases. The good part of the bill casts a wary eye on whatever quackery Trump Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. tries to spin as science over the next four years, providing both he and Trump actually keep their positions that long. The downside is that Colorado is about as effective as Texas in keeping things like a measles wave out of the schools. The measure actually extends by two weeks how long a child can go to school without proof of vaccination. Most importantly, the measure did not close up easy loopholes parents can get through that pretty much lets anyone out of the state vaccine mandate if they just don’t like it. Sure, it makes sense that you can’t force parents to vaccinate their kids. But you sure as hell can force them to get vaccinations if they attend public schools. Other than legitimate medical exceptions, “I just don’t wanna” deniers are recipes for deadly and absolutely unnecessary measles outbreaks, just like the ones we’re suffering through.
Law law land
Senate Bill 129 is the needed antidote to a nation of state and congressional lawmakers swept up in a fever of nonsense over women’s healthcare and transgender rights. The measure protects Colorado healthcare providers from dubious “investigations” originating in other states, created to usurp women’s rights for self-determination as well as transgender people seeking and getting healthcare from Colorado providers. While the bill doesn’t answer the critical question, “Why would anyone allow the government to intervene in deeply personal healthcare decisions?” and “Why do transgender people scare some of these elected officials?” it at least protects healthcare workers from nutcase diggers and bigotry masquerading as a lawsuit.
Nuke it
Huh. Color me skeptical as hell about nuclear power plants being proclaimed “clean energy” for any reason. A child who grew up downwind of the Rocky Flats nuclear arsenal factory, had nightmares about Silkwood, and kinda laughed but not really at Saturday Night Live skits about Three Mile Island, I’m not seeing anything clean about it. I’ve written and edited many a story about the problems with uranium mines, mine tailings, fuel disposal and all kinds of stories about cancer linked to “clean” nuclear energy. Nobody’s building anything yet, but the next bill needs to focus on showing everyone the science behind the scheme.
Weave whackers
The top of my list for, “more, please,” goes to Senate Bill 281. The measure makes it a misdemeanor to “drive carelessly” and end up injuring or killing someone. Currently, the real legal trouble starts with a “reckless driving” conviction. Being a twice-daily interstate commuter, I see, several times a day, the need for a law that prevents ass-hats doing the high-speed weave thing, and I hope this helps. What the bill doesn’t do, and the next one should, is hire enough cops and highway troopers to enforce even the laws we’ve got against driving like an idiot.
The next 30 minutes
And the mystery bill kill of the year is House Bill 1237, which died young at the hands of a House committee earlier this year. The measure would have allowed bars to stay open another 30 minutes each night, until 2:30 a.m. instead of the current 2 a.m. limit. Being that guy who dozes off pretty early after a half-glass of wine these days, Jello shots for last call at 1:55 a.m. seems pretty moronic, but no less moronic than Kamikazes at 2:25 a.m. Let ‘em stay and get the Uber 2:20 a.m. surcharge.
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