PERRY: Racism and stupidity are the gifts that keep on giving

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I am overwhelmed with the spirit of the holidays. While I normally sit in front of this keyboard with every intention of poking my fingers on the keys as if they were the eyes of my readers and victims, today, I type lightly.

Kidding.

And there you go, dear readers who peruse this portion of the paper each week with clenched fists and jaws, anxious to leap onto any and every shred of evidence that I am a leading figure in the dark screaming liberal cabal set out to destroy the world as Ayn Rand dreamed it could be. Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to those in the city who look in this spot each week hoping to find my obit.

This week, mystery reader “Omiester” wrote to say, “Hey, Spanky!” liberals are the ruination of the planet, sucking up to child molesters and murderers because we think it’s cool. He goes on and on and on to say that liberals are either all gays and lesbians, or know some, and talk gay, essentially wanting to snuggle up to anything illicit or unsavory.

“Now it’s Peachy Keen (you know Peachy Keen, don’t cha Dave? [sic] That’s homo liberal talk.) You think All of us Normal people with NORMAL MORALS, normal values and normal self control should put up with your dog sh**.”

Reader Omiester goes on to suggest that doggy doo like myself and the child molesters and miscreants that I support should be exterminated.

Merry Christmas, Reader Omiester. I give you the platform that you crave so that everyone in Aurora can see what an upstanding, righteous and valuable part of our community you are, and what a creepy weasel I am for standing up for gay rights and due process.

I’m not stopping here. For all of my loyal fans who regularly point out what an ass I am for suggesting that there is still rampant racism in this country, and that it nearly cost President Obama the election twice, I give you a few moments here in the spotlight to make your point that it is I who am being racist against innocent white people in Aurora.

Come on down, “Sgt. Jim,” an Aurora resident who regularly floods my email box with commentary about my motives, my sexual habits and my heinous support of all things liberal and minority in nature.

Sarge gets especially incensed when I point out how sickeningly racist his own missives are, and how I wish he would stop.

He was sure he had me, however, the day after the election when Obama prevailed, especially after I had written on more than one occasion about racism in Aurora and the rest of the country.

“Hey Dave, it looks like those racist bast**** voted the way you wanted them to. What an ass**** you are. I think you owe some white folks an apology. I’m sure that’s forthcoming. You are too much of a coward to do that. Now I just hope you shut the f**** up.”

Merry Christmas to you, Sarge! You’re right about me not telling readers that I was wrong about racism still being a serious issue here in the country. But as a gift to you, I’m including here a sample of your more recent missives, showing just how un-bigoted you and your pals are. I’m letting you show Aurora what an idiot I am for suggesting that the community and the very nation is at risk because of rampant hatred, misogyny and wanton stupidity.

Remember this one, Sarge?

“Effective Jan 1, 2013, Aspirin will be taxed under the Obama-Care program. The explanation was that they are white and they work. No other reason was given.”

Nothing racist there, huh, dude?

How about this favorite you and I got into it about, saying that it made me sick? It was a faux poster explaining that if Obama’s mother had used a condom, Obama would never have been born to become president. And you wrote:

“If the Obama rules for contraception and abortion would have been in effect in 1960/61 that would have been another way that Obama would not exist today. No white girl wanted a black baby in those days.”

Awesome, Sarge. Just awesome. Not unlike the email you sent out this week explaining that the cure for priapism, and you may have to look that up, is to click on a link leading to a picture of Sec. of State Hillary Clinton.

Merry Christmas, Sarge and to all of you who thoughtfully write in each day to point out what a creepy jerk I am for taking up the liberal cause. I can’t make my case any better than you do.

 

Reach editor Dave Perry at 303-750-7555 or [email protected]           

 

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casual observer
casual observer
9 years ago

Dave, this approach is more appropriate than putting your middle school self on and blasting the opposition. Very mature and well dine.

Emily Frazee
9 years ago

Start a twitter feed, #angryidiots and post these letters daily for the world to see. I implore you!

Robert Duffy
Robert Duffy
9 years ago

I get it man, these jerks like Sarge can drive you up the wall. But you gave them what they are graving, Notoriety. They are part of the Dinosaur Party, which is Too Old, Too White, Too Male, and let me addToo Bigoted. They are the real reason why only 57% of the registered electorate voted this year. Their political party has not won the popular vote since the first off-year election after Regan took office.

They are the real reason that 83% of Blacks, 77% of Latinos, 76% of Asians, a majority of single mothers and young people all voted for President Obama. Most of the America public and especially the above saw a Man of Color, who became President of the United States, so unmitigatedly disrespected by these people from the DINOSAUR Party. Remember the old saying, “what goes around comes around”.

I doubt that the DINASOUR Party will go away. They are too old to learn new things or to change their ways, as you have experienced. They might become an ignored 3rd party, until their dubious extinction. They want less government, except in the Bedroom. They want more freedom, except for Woman. Not since the Holy Inquisition have we had some religious groups and religious leaders join their ranks and become Right Wing Nuts Jobs.

Thank God, this 2012 Election has truly exposed the DINOSAUR PARTY. Let’s hope and pray that the real American People can start working together to bring these United States of America back to Greatness.

Keep up your good work bringing to our attention the dedicated and wonderful work done by really concerned people who hold elected office in this great country of ours.