I was moving to the front of the line this week to demonstrate my shock, horror and outrage over Big Government using Big Computer and Big Data to snoop on Americans when it dawned on me that this is neither new, news nor very interesting any more. Folks, this is not a big deal.
I hate it when that happens.
I was just returning to the country when the Associated Press alarm bells started clanging over stories about leaks to the Washington Post and Guardian that the NSA was in cahoots with Google et al to sniff through anything and everything to seek out evil-doers.
While this is perplexing, and on some levels unsettling, it was all that and more back in 2002 when President George Bush and Club Congress set out to create the so-called “Patriot Act” to protect us from another Sept. 11 attack. At the time, the ACLU folks were nearly having seizures over the idea of a concerted government effort to sift through phone records, calls, emails and Google searches in hopes of turning up terrorists before they could strike. I keep going through the “new” news on the controversy to try and figure out what that might be. I’m not seeing anything.
Anyone who was certain that some creepy kid like NSA whistle-blower Edward Snowden was sneering through their emails lost the battle to keep him from doing it years ago.
But here’s the bigger issue: Privacy. Americans are freaked out over Internet privacy? A country that tweets and posts to Facebook, Pinterest and Tumblr every mediocre smothered burrito they order, every kiddie soccer game they endure, every amazing sunset, sunrise and rainstorm they encounter and every time they get into a pissing match with their mate — these people are worried about privacy? They should just be glad that at least someone’s paying attention to the prolific and pandemic posting of their lives for everyone BUT the NSA to see.
That’s why the NSA claims about the Power of PRISM are such a laugh. According to the story leaked to the Washington Post, NSA officials claim they have direct access to Google, Apple and Facebook so they can mine trillions of bits of data and glean important information about everyone.
Dude, so can I. So can everyone. For about $5, you can sift through every keystroke of just about everyone in the world to find out their favorite songs, whether they have a need for adult diapers and every place they’ve been for the past three years “checking in” by design or accidentally.
Big Data sifting and sorting is what brings you Pandora and more. It’s what taps you on the shoulder while you’re shopping online for school clothes and says, “Did you see this? Cool, huh?”
As to fishing through Verizon calls, good luck with that. I can’t understand half of the calls I get. Maybe NSA creeps can transcribe my wife’s meltdown at Target and tell me what she wants.
Is it that we’re surprised that it’s high-school dropouts with sweaty palms and huge egos that are the ones scrolling through our texts about how much we think our best-friend’s wife is a skank? Really? Did you expect that people with lives, that you enjoy spending time with would want a job like that? I understand that it’s sort of like waking up from your colonoscopy, expecting to see Dr. Welby there, patting your hand, but instead you wake to find Pee Wee Herman in scrubs with your underwear over his head.
I suppose I’m like most Americans who shrug at this and realize that I don’t really care if “Pee Wee the NSA creep” pokes through my stuff, seeing how I spend way too much money on eating out, ski gloves, dark beer and Starbucks. I imagine the most embarrassing thing taking up server space in the great cloud somewhere is the fact that I have six ABBA songs in my iTunes account. I didn’t put them there, honest. My daughter did. No, really. And that Facebook picture that looks like me pooping in the parking lot of Loveland Basin? It’s just mud, and it seemed funny at the time.
In looking through my digital life, it’s clear that I could never be confused with being a terrorist, just pathetic. And thanks to Big Data, that’s no secret.
Reach editor Dave Perry at 303-750-7555 or dperry@aurorasentinel.com
As a recent college grad just said on Twitter the other day,
“That’s great, I am always looking for more followers”
What the heck is wrong with you. No big deal? Since when have you known a government not to use information like this for illicit gains. Heck this administration is known for using its powers to silence those that oppose them.
What if the next administration did not like what this paper had to say? You’ve seen what happens when one of your articles goes viral. Do you think your future opinions would be safe to broadcast on this newspaper. All it would take is a little snooping and you would have to resign or be arrested on some obscure law that less 0.05% of the population even knew existed. How hard would it be to shutdown your bank account, or allow your idenity to be stolen and make your life a living nightmare. Or perhaps your known location is given to those “crazy” NRA folks your so afraid of. Maybe they want to know your every move.
Dave Perry just because someone posts something online, does not mean their entire private life should be displayed for the world to see. I guess we should put a camera in every room of your house, since you
willingly show yourself in public and speak in public the majority of the day. This is no different.
What will it take for you to finally open your eyes and see the shackles of tyranny you so openly embrace?
been readin you for years, Dave. You’re a riot.