To each his/her/their own

High school senior Caston Peters had used “they” and “them” or “he” and “him” pronouns at his Indianapolis school for three years without a problem, but they came home a few days into this school year and told their mother that the situation had changed.

Peters, 18 and nonbinary, heard from a teacher that a new Indiana state law meant they wouldn’t be able to use those pronouns, or the first name they’ve used for years, without explicit permission from a parent because the pronouns and name don’t correspond with their sex assigned at birth.

This was news to Caston’s mother, Kim Michaelis-Peters, who immediately sent teachers, a counselor and the principal an email asking them to comply with Caston’s wishes, and the school staff did. But even though her own child’s wishes are being respected, Michaelis-Peters said she has deep concerns about what that state’s law could mean for students whose parents might not be understanding if they learn from school officials that their child is transgender or nonbinary.

“It makes me feel like there’s going to be a child out there who’s not going to feel safe at home to tell their parents and the school’s going to rat them out for wanting to be called a different name or different pronouns,” she said.

At least 10 states have enacted laws prohibiting or restricting students from using pronouns or names that don’t match their sex assigned at birth, a restriction that opponents say further marginalizes transgender and nonbinary students. Most of the laws were enacted this year and are part of a historic wave of new restrictions on transgender youth approved by Republican states.

According to the American Civil Liberties Union of Colorado, public schools are required by federal law to “remedy the abuse and harassment of LGBTQ+ students.” If the school learns of any abuse or harassment against LGBTQ+ students and does not take any steps to protect that student, then the school will be put on notice and be held legally responsible. 

Local school officials say they work to accommodate students and parental rights.

“Cherry Creek Schools is committed to ensuring our schools are safe, welcoming, and supportive places for all students and staff, including our LGBTQ+ community,” district spokesperson Lauren Snell. “Each and every student deserves to be treated with dignity and granted the same access and opportunity for an excellent education regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression.”

District officials said an “formal” name or gender change for school records requires “multiple conversations with the student, their guardians, the school principal, and teacher(s).“

Besides that, “teachers follow the practice of honoring requests by students to use a different pronoun in the classroom and share this information with parents upon request,” Snell said. “Under the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act, parents and guardians have access to all student records.”

In Aurora Public School, there is no policy that requires district staff to notify parents if a student requests to use different pronouns, according to school district spokesperson Cory Christiansen. The district addresses resources as needed, and the district is working on creating a publicly available website that will provide resources for families. 

The measures in other states, however, are creating fear for transgender students and sowing confusion for teachers on how to comply but still offer a welcoming environment for everyone in their classes.

“The things that are passing are so vague and so hard to understand that (teachers) don’t know what to do,” said Cheryl Greene, senior director of the Welcoming Schools Program for the Human Rights Campaign Foundation, which advocates for LGBTQ+ rights. “It just creates this ambiguity and fear with educators because it’s not clear.”

Supporters of the laws have argued that parents should have a say if children are using pronouns or names different than those assigned at birth. Republican lawmakers describe it as a parental rights issue alongside efforts to restrict how gender identity is addressed in the classroom or in library materials.

“School districts can’t shut a parent out of their child’s decision about their gender identity because the child objects or because the school believes the parent isn’t supportive enough of an immediate gender transition,” according to a brief signed by nearly two dozen Republican attorneys general and filed in a lawsuit stemming from a California school district’s policy.

Mental health experts and advocates say that requiring parental consent or notification of pronouns forcibly outs trans students, who already face a high risk of bullying and abuse.

Similar restrictions have sparked some opposition in Virginia, where Republican Gov. Glenn Youngkin unveiled new model policies over the summer that include a requirement that minors must be referred to by the names and pronouns in their official records unless a parent approves something else. Some school boards have begun to adopt policies consistent with Youngkin’s guidelines while others have balked.

Some teachers in other states are finding ways around the requirements or defying the restrictions, saying they don’t want to put their students at risk. Since the laws are being enacted in states where teachers have little job protection, few are willing to talk on the record.

Jillian Spain, who teaches social studies at a middle school in Yanceyville, North Carolina, said she’s continued to address her students by the names and pronouns they use. Spain said outing a child, which is what the law would do to transgender and nonbinary students, “is not in the job description.”

Spain said the fear of being outed just adds to the pressures students already face, especially after the COVID-19 pandemic that devastated their well-being and academics.

“I am absolutely never, ever, ever going to out a child,” Spain said. “School is supposed to be their safe place. It’s supposed to be a place where they can be who they truly are.”

Teachers’ groups say educators have been given little to no guidance on how to comply with the new restrictions, including basic steps like how to get permission from parents of students who use pronouns or names not listed on their birth certificates.

Indiana, like other states, leaves the specifics up to school districts.

The state’s teachers union says Indiana’s new parental notification law, which also bars teachers from providing instruction on human sexuality to students from pre-K through the third grade, is aimed at a problem that doesn’t exist.

“We have heard concerns anecdotally about the potential impact of this law,” Indiana State Teachers Association President Keith Gambill said in a statement. “Teachers are worried that it will create confusion and additional administrative burdens in an already demanding educational environment.”

Kentucky’s new law says teachers and school staff cannot be compelled to use a student’s pronouns if they don’t “conform to the student’s biological sex.”

The law, which includes other provisions dealing with student bathroom assignment and parental consent, has prompted confusion among educators, said Chris Hartman, director of the Fairness Campaign, the state’s highest-profile LGBTQ+ advocacy group. Hartman said it allows educators to ignore students’ wishes about pronouns even if their parents have asked the district not to let it happen.

“The mental health impact on trans kids being willfully misgendered by the adults in the room is disastrous,” Hartman said. He said supportive adults are crucial to keeping transgender students from slipping into depression and considering suicide.

A lawsuit asks a judge to declare Kentucky’s new law unconstitutional.

The National Institutes of Health said that pronouns are important, not just for everyday use in communication, but also to affirm gender identity for people in the LGBTQ+ community. It is especially true for people who do not follow traditional gender norms or whose gender identity does not align with the gender they were born with. 

Gender-affirming care and policies doesn’t stop at pronoun use in schools. It also extends to the workplace.

According to a report from the Human Rights Campaign, people are increasingly entering the workforce “with gender identities and expressions that may be different from what we most frequently think of when discussing gender.”

“Companies seeking to be LGBTQ inclusive need to be aware of the importance of pronouns to the community and explore appropriate solutions for their workplaces. Whatever approach we take to address pronouns, the bottom line is that everyone deserves to have their self-ascribed name and pronouns respected in the workplace,” a report said.

NIH reported that being open about using pronouns and encouraging discourse at work can create a welcoming and inclusive environment. Employees can introduce themselves with their pronouns, or add their pronouns to their email signature, increasingly common. 

In Colorado, lawmakers have already taken steps to protect people seeking gender-affirming care and are working to increase those protections. 

In 2023, Colorado became the first state in the country to explicitly include gender-affirming care, such as surgery, hormone therapy and mental health services, in individual and small-group health insurance plans. A state database shows which surgical procedures and hormone therapies are covered by which insurance companies. 

Lawmakers also expanded the anti-discrimination law to protect people against gender-based discrimination. The House bill, which was primarily sponsored by former state Rep. Daneya Esgar and former state Sen. Dominick Moreno, was signed into law  in 2021. 

Michael Brannen, a spokesperson for the City of Aurora, said the city views the sharing and acknowledgement of pronouns as a sign of respect but doesn’t require employees to use others’ preferred gender pronouns.

“We are a value-based organization, and one of our core values is respect,” he said. “Sharing and acknowledging personal gender pronouns is one way to practice respect for the diversity that makes Aurora great. Employees are able to determine if they choose to use pronouns rather than mandating it in policy.”

Similarly, the government of Arapahoe County encourages but does not mandate that employees use preferred gender pronouns.

County spokesman Anders Nelson said the county recently launched its Diversity, Inclusivity, and Valuing Equity Training Program, which was developed in conjunction with MGT Consulting of America.

Nelson said the program, which will take place in fall 2024, includes training on concepts like gender pronouns, other inclusive language and microaggressions.

Advocates for LGBTQ issues say that kind of inclusive atmosphere is important.

Johnny Humphrey — who leads the RANGE Consulting program for the LGBTQ-focused Center on Colfax — said he’s witnessed a “slow and steady” growth in acceptance for people sharing and using others’ preferred pronouns since he started working in Colorado about five and a half years ago.

Humphrey’s consultancy is on track to have worked with close to 100 clients this year. His work has included partnering with Aurora businesses and the city on projects, including offering training on topics such as gender pronouns.

He said his training includes education around LGBTQ issues and role playing to persuade participants that using others’ preferred pronouns is important. 

While Humphrey said recent years have seen more people embrace contemporary rules around pronoun usage, he lamented the fact that discussion around the topic has been “politicized” and encouraged more people to preface their interactions with others by sharing their pronouns.

“The more you do it, the easier it will come out and flow. And it can really have a meaningful impact for so many people,” he said.

The Colorado ACLU offers this information for LGBTQ+ students

Keeping a record of every time they are harassed. This includes information about what happened, the people involved and to whom they reported it to.

Schools do not have the right to “out” someone without their permission.

Students have the constitutional right to be out of the closet at school. Students have the right to free expression which includes choice of clothes. However, the school is
allowed to restrict a person’s speech if it
causes significant disruption. 

Schools must treat the Gay-Straight
Alliance, a school or community based
organization usually held in secondary schools, the same as any non-curricular club

Public schools cannot restrict students from bringing a same-sex date to prom