AURORA – It has been more than 25 years since I first saw Twinkies being made, but the memory is crystal clear.
Pans full of upside-down yellow cakes moved along a conveyor belt inside the immense factory. Robotically, each pan stopped under a set of gleaming injectors. When they inserted themselves, I could see each Twinkie plump up with sweet white filling before moving off to be wrapped. I also saw thousands of white bread loaves being proofed and fruit pies being baptized in glaze.
I was given a tour of the Wonder Hostess Bakery on I-25 in Denver by an enthusiastic older gentleman I remember only as Mr. White. It was a rare privilege since the factory had long since stopped its consumer tours over health concerns. Older readers who took the tour as kids recall receiving mini Wonder Bread loaves to take home. Younger folks have only the memory of that fresh baked-bread aroma wafting across the interstate.
Even then it seemed like HoHo’s, Sno Balls and Ding Dongs were entering a death spiral because of our changing American diet. Twinkies were castigated as “junk food.” Now, if you send your kid to school with CupCakes you might get a visit from a social worker concerned about the child’s well being.
Now comes the news that Hostess Brands may close its factories and could sell off its popular Hostess, Drakes and Dolly Madison treats including Twinkies, CupCakes, Ding Dongs, Ho Ho’s, and Donettes. It was fascinating to watch folks who hadn’t eaten Twinkies in decades desperately sprint to convenience stores for one final set.
I advise taking a deep breath and switching back to the only pastry your doctor approves: vegan raisin bran muffins. Snack cakes are still a multi-billion-dollar business and there are already many suitors lining up to buy these iconic brands.
I hope so because once a year I have to have a Hostess Cherry Fruit Pie.
To research this column I googled my name and “Twinkies” to see if I’d written anything on the subject. To celebrate its 65th anniversary, Hostess apparently asked for movie ideas starring the snack cakes. I have no memory of writing the following, but it was published nationally in 1995. Note the dated movie references.
• “Forrest Twinkie”: A dull boy runs really fast after his mom makes him eat Twinkies for breakfast, lunch and dinner. In the touching final scene, Forrest (played by John Travolta) tells his son: “Life is like a package of Twinkies. You always know for sure what you’re gonna get every single time.”
• “The Twinkie King”: A prince of a boy (voiced by Macaulay Culkin) tries to earn the respect of his father (voiced by Paul Newman) by teaching his clan to consume fresh, cream-filled snack cakes and sing happy songs instead of chasing down animals and biting them until they die.
FEED BEFORE FEASTING
Happy Thanksgiving. Nearly 1 in 7 Colorado residents live with food insecurity. Among them are those working minimum wage jobs, seniors on fixed incomes, and those with health issues, according to the Food Bank of the Rockies. Nearly half the food the food bank distributes each year feeds children. Turkey and fixins are swell, but hunger is an everyday problem in our neighborhood. Before you gather today, take a moment to be really grateful and donate to the Food Bank of The Rockies at foodbankrockies.org. The stuffing will taste so much better.
FOOD NEWS UPDATE
Local voters ranked Denverites in the bottom-five in the nation as a restaurant destination, whether for fine dining, pizza and ethnic food in Travel and Leisure’s annual America’s Favorite Cities survey. Visitors ranked Denver second to Portland, Ore. for its craft brew culture. … Lovers of German baked goods will flock to the 12th Annual Christkindl Market opening Nov. 23 at Denver’s Skyline Park. … Mark your calendar: The 2013 Denver Restaurant Week is Feb. 23 to March 8. … Stranahan’s Colorado Whiskey has opened a Western-themed General Store and Tasting Room in its distillery at 200 S. Kalamath St. in Denver. … Nobody is sure exactly why, but sales of jerky in the U.S. rose 13.6 percent to $760.2 million in the past year, according to SymphonyIRI market research.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
“Apple pie. Apple fritters. Apple puffs, Southern style Peach cobbler, Southern style Peach pie. American mince pie. Pumpkin pie. Squash pie. All sorts of American pastry. “– Mark Twain, writing about what he missed, in “A Tramp Abroad”
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