It’s almost old hat in this day and age to point out that some video games do a better job at storytelling than a lot of movies.
We’ll get back to this in a bit, because there’s something bolder and far more shocking to make note of today: I almost enjoyed an Adam Sandler movie.
Let’s not twist things and give the impression that director Chris Columbus’ “Pixels” is a good flick — it’s dumb, boorish, misogynistic, unoriginal and devoid of any kind of character development or thematic depth.
But its world-saving band of manchildren seem a least aware of these facts and embrace them; as legions of video-game characters invade Earth and the story borrows more than lightly from “War of the Worlds” and “Independence Day,” it’s tough to discern which side of the fine line Sandler and friends are on between nuanced parody and crass appropriation.
Sam Brenner (Sandler) suffers the indignities of donning garish orange work shorts as a “Nerd Brigade” worker, installing TVs and other tech gadgets for a living; it’s a far cry from his boyhood conquering of the world of arcade gaming.
Sam’s buddy Will (Kevin James) is doing slightly better: He’s the President of the United States and just happens to be in need of a gaming wiz when a military base in Guam is attacked by extraterrestrials taking the form of old-school arcade games such as Galaga and Defender.
Throw in a boyhood arcade rival — the heavily mulleted and overconfident Billy “The Fire Blaster” Mitchell (Peter Dinklage) — and conspiracy theorist gamer Ludlow Lamonsoff (Josh Gad), and you have the core of the boys club that will go through the very obvious motions of squaring off against any number of nostalgic blips of energy that ravage India, London, America and presumably other places that just weren’t funny enough to depict on screen.
Acting as den mother to them all and romantic interest to Sam is Violet Van Patten (Michelle Monaghan), who’s just split from her husband and conveniently is *the* person who would oversee these characters as the fate of the planet rests with them.
It’s inherently unfair to try and compare Adam Sandler films, especially when “Pixels” stands out with the direction of someone such as Chris Columbus. But in this case, it’s useful to note that for all of the stupidity of “Pixels,” it’s not as obnoxious or nonchalantly awful as the toilet-humor heavy antics of, say, “Grown-Ups 2” or other Happy Madison features.
Outside of a scene of a frightened, CGI Q*bert secreting a bit of pixelated Q*bert urine, most of the jokes are simply juvenile without being lewd or excessively offensive beyond the pervasiveness of the demeaning of any of the on-screen ladies.
Speaking of which, the issue really can’t be avoided — even if you’ve come to expect an unhealthy dose of misogyny inherent in the doltish exploits. In addition to Monaghan’s Violet existing primarily to give our leading man a lady to kiss at the end, the rest of the crew’s female companions either exist in the most limited of scenes (such as the delightful Jane Krakowski as the first lady to James’ POTUS), or they appear simply as objects of desire and conquest. Gad’s long-time digital crush Lady Lisa (Ashley Benson) manifests amid the mayhem of the nation’s capital being overrun by Mario, et al, while Dinklage’s character seeks a ménage à trois with two celebs at one point as he bargains for all he can when he’s recruited to join in the fight.
So while much of the humor is basic enough that it should really only appeal to viewers under 10, the tone and ideas at play seem firmly targeting dad-dudes in their mid-30s or older who don’t put much stock in feminist critiques and don’t mind plunking down $8 or more to watch recurring CGI cameos by 80s luminaries such as Ronald Reagan, Tammy Faye Bakker and Hall and Oates.
For as savagely as this film is likely to be picked apart by most, it does have scenes that genuinely work that are undercut by the aforementioned problematics. Gad vacillates from being a scary creep living in a basement to an overconfident, boozy songster, putting his broad comedic range to good use and even giving a few Sam Kinison-level shouts as he mimics a drill sergeant. Dinklage also commits entirely to the sleazebag role and oozes the requisite repugnancy.
On a macro level, “Pixels” is little more than a blockbuster schlock-comedy remake of “Ender’s Game” or a feature adaptation of the Bud Light Super Bowl commercial in which an unwitting bar patron ends up playing life-size Pac-Man — silly, stupid and inoffensive with slightly better than average graphics work. Dig a bit more and there are countless critiques to nitpick over.
But getting back to the games-vs.-movies debate, consider the average “Grand Theft Auto” player. They know what they’re getting with the game; there’s some unquestionably horrific things that can transpire therein, yet most players will never consider the morality of running over computer-generated civilians because at the end of the day, the thing’s so damned entertaining. That’s about where we’re at in the life cycle of the cinema of Sandler — only that the “GTA” games have advanced in terms of narrative depth, character development and complexity.
“Pixels” is rated PG-13. Running time: One hour, 36 minutes. Two stars out of five.