I’m both terrified and fascinated by the type of person interested in buying the new 2014 Audi SQ5. In short, I think I want to be your new best friend.
Not only because prospective buyers for Audi’s new super-fast, low-slung, 5-seater crossover would be the type of people who spend sports car money on family vehicles. But also because I think they would be people who would happily do so. For nearly $52,000 to start, the Audi SQ5 is the automotive equivalent of a deck-mounted potato gun or backyard trampoline with a nearby staircase to the highest point on the nearest roof. Adult supervision required, and even then, I’m not so sure SQ5 owners qualify as adults.
That’s because the SQ5 is built in an odd, awesome universe to begin with. I offer the SQ5’s mission as proof that the car has slightly teenage logic built-in: Why build a family crossover that can sprint up to 60 mph in 5 seconds? Because Audi can. And that’s the only reason they need. Humph.
Audi’s Q5, currently its smallest crossover offering (there will be a Q3 coming), typifies the small luxury crossover category for most people. That Q5, which is only a tall hatchback scaled for American taste, is wildly practical and scarcely intimidating, like most in its class alongside the BMW X3 and Mercedes GLK. For the SQ5, Audi slapped its signature one-color S grille on the front, side sills across the doors, spoiler and quad-tipped exhaust in the back to distinguish the high-performance version. Audi didn’t need to lace the corners with standard 20-inch wheels (21-inch wheels can be had for $800) but I’m glad they did. Bright red calipers on 15-inch discs screaming out of the summer performance tires is how you win my heart.
And it’ll take every clench of the massive brakes to slow the SQ5. Like the S4 and S5, the SQ5 receives Audi’s supercharged V6 engine in the front. The mill produces 354 horsepower and 347 lb.-ft. of torque, which is almost 140 horsepower more than the standard Q5’s turbocharged four. That engine is mated to an 8-speed automatic transmission that smoothly shifts the SQ5 all the way up to a top speed of 155 mph.
At no point previously did I mention the SQ5’s off-road cred, and for good reason. That just isn’t this car’s bag. The SQ5, like most of the Audi universe, comes equipped with Quattro all-wheel drive, which in theory means it can handle dirt roads and snowy passes. Also in theory: We could fall off the planet if Earth suddenly spun the opposite direction. I’m guessing both of those scenarios are equally likely to happen in the near future.
You wouldn’t want to leave the confines of the SQ5 much anyway for two good reasons.
First, firmly bolstered seats, a supremely quiet cabin and Audi’s MMI navigation/stereo (a $3,400 option) make a compelling case to keep your rear firmly planted in the driver’s seat. The interior of the SQ5 is what you’d expect from Audi: very tightly fit, very precise controls and very German.
Second, in the SQ5, most of that goes to waste. Driving the SQ5 is far more exciting than any of the optional extras. The quad exhaust, when opened at full throat, is surprisingly better than any soundtrack pumping through the Bang & Olufsen sound system. Details like the Nappa leather seats get lost when you’re pummeling your right foot to the floor over and over and over again. Oh, the joy of being juvenile.
The steering is light and precise, and the big chunky SQ5 steering wheel feels great wrapping around a tight canyon corner. Like other Audis, the steering is electrically assisted so feedback through the wheel is limited. But if you’re the kind of buyer that likes to feel front tires chatter back in tight corners, please remember that you’re also the buyer who bought a family car — presumably because you have a family. Keep it on the road, please.
Americans may not compare the SQ5 with the old Audi S4 Avant but they should. Both cars came from Europe, and both were big-gunned versions of family sedans. (Interestingly, the SQ5 in the U.S. has a higher ride height than the European version to qualify as a crossover for U.S. fuel standards.) Whether you prefer a wagon or a crossover is nearly a wash, both cars are rare and super cool in Audi circles.
At more than $64,000 equipped like our tester, the 2014 Audi SQ5 approaches Corvette money, Porsche Cayman money and a whole host of other cars that make a lot of sense at speed. But the Audi SQ5 is for the buyer who doesn’t make sense sometimes, and who looks at a family grocery run as a potential obstacle/slalom course.
For that reason, I humbly ask: Do you need a new best friend? Can I come over and fire your potato gun please?
Aaron Cole is managing editor. Reach him at acole@aurorasentinel.com
Yes. The sq5 is just SO much fun to drive.