The critic’s pick always gets glossed over as the nerd’s favorite or geek’s dream. Like the Velvet Underground record that gathers dust next to Led Zeppelin “II” or the The Rolling Stones’ “No. 2,” there’s no love for media darlings with unique names.
I like the 2013 Ford Flex because it doesn’t look like any other car on the road. I also like the Flex because it lived up to and also grew into its name; there was no vowel-topped, aspirational brandalism like “Admiretta” or “Obscurenza.” Flex was what you got in the beginning: an uber-cruiser that could comfortably hold the starting lineup of a basketball team and manage somewhere around 20 mpg. Flex now relates better to the “baller” definition, or as UrbanDictionary puts it, to “show off,” which is probably more appropriate considering our tester’s blacked out exterior, black badging and cladding on the grille, and sinister look all the way around.
I think a biker just gave me the thumbs up.
For commercial success it’s probably better that I pan the Flex (I have the kiss of death) but I won’t. The boxy, anti-minivan is likely still the best option for seating seven that isn’t a crossover, or isn’t wildly expensive. True, that isn’t a huge market and Ford’s own sales numbers reflect that. But the first tenet of a critic’s pick: There’s no love for sellouts.
And the Flex is certainly polarizing. The low, boxy exterior is love it or hate it and the redesigning for the 2013 model year certainly underscores that. Ford dumped the blue oval in the front, so the only visible badge is the showy “FLEX” letters that span the entire grille. The rear end sports dual exhausts as standard now, and Ford insists they’ve rounded the whole thing over a little bit, which I can’t see but I’ll trust them anyway.
Inside, the Flex is much the same as it was when it was introduced only three years ago. For 2013, Ford included an updated instrument cluster, which is flanked by two small LED screens to display information such as fuel economy and current radio station. The steering wheel has been updated to include the controls for the updated display, which are two directional pads with OK buttons. (I pressed both simultaneously to try to force a Fonz-like “alright!” reaction to no avail. Fingers crossed for 2014.)
The driver and passenger seats are fairly typical, overstuffed Ford thrones, which are more than adequate for long hauls, and similar to those found in the Taurus or other cushy sedans. I have a wide — but not expansive — bottom that was swaddled better in the Flex than it’s been before. In fact my notes read “Is it possible to get this seat in an office chair?” which I believe affirms my allegiance as an American. The second and third rows in the Flex receive a diminishing amount of comfy rump treatment going backward. But there is good news. The second row can be fitted with 60/40 split reclining seats ($650 option) if your Flex is better suited for geezers than grandchildren.
The third row is reserved almost exclusively for children and still has Ford’s confusing system of pulling three straps to fold down the seats. The seats fold flat to reveal more cargo area, except its hard to imagine a parent with an arm full of groceries and/or children decrypting the hieroglyphics on the back of the seat to perform the right sequence of strap pulls. Airline safety cards have fewer illustrations, it seems.
Climb into the driver’s seat and the Flex feels every bit as long as the 201.8 inches listed. In reality, the Flex is almost an inch shorter than the Taurus, but one feels like a bus and one doesn’t — you guess which one. That feeling could be exacerbated by the low-slung nature of the Flex — it’s 68 inches tall, or only 2 inches shorter than a Jeep Grand Cherokee — that is pronounced decisively by its high belt line. Put simply: Driving the Flex feels like you’re sitting in a big, oversized “Alice in Wonderland” chair.
That’s not a bad feeling, as you’re still firmly in command of the car’s 4,500 lbs. Despite it’s largesse, it handles fairly well. The standard 3.5-liter V6 pushes the mighty Flex with 287 horsepower and returns better-than 20 mpg in mixed driving. The Limited trim edition adds an EcoBoost engine that bumps horsepower up to 365 with roughly the same mileage return.
Our SEL was comfortably equipped with leather-trimmed seats and navigation goodies that added $3,195 to the final price that totaled $39,195. Flex SE models start at $30,900.
Although the Flex has plenty of critical praise as an affordable hauler, it seems to be wavering between “cool, urban mobile” and “efficient family transportation.” That’s OK. Lou Reed didn’t find commercial success until he went solo, and the Velvet Underground wasn’t big until they stopped making music.
Maybe the Flex will find an audience before it’s too late.
Aaron Cole is a syndicated auto columnist. He knows he’s wrong, but he’d rather hear it from you. Reach him at aaron.m.cole@gmail.com or @ColeMeetsCars