PERRY: WAITING FOR TRUDEAU — So these are the Democrats who must save us from Trump?

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She isn’t coming. Neither is he.

Sure, the majority of Americans aren’t having any of the fraught fantasy spun by President Donald Trump and his disciples.

But that 60 percent of Americans seem to be hoping that someone younger, smarter, more experienced, warmer, bullet-proof, charming, honest, passionate, selfless and funny will run against Trump.

The nation is trapped in a forlorn Beckett play. We’re waiting for Trudeau.

Sorry, but America’s version of popular Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau isn’t coming.

We’re more than three years into a Trump presidency that’s worse than we imagined. Recently, it’s gotten even more horrible than the hyperbole we tossed around when Trump and company said the Mueller report was “total exoneration.”

The the administration and party of “did not,” became, “so what?” Now we’re facing, “what are you going do about it?”

So you would think that the other 60 percent of the nation would be pleased as punch to have almost anyone reach for the top of the Democratic ticket.  We are somehow looking at a slate of presidential contenders who, apparently, aren’t as satisfying as “almost anyone.” 

The current Trump alternatives have enough collective baggage to sink the Titanic.

After Saturday’s Nevada group therapy caucus event, the front-runner for Democrats is a 78-year-old occasional Democrat recovering from a heart attack who has to persuade hundreds of millions of voters that a democratic socialist is not a communist.

Second from the Senator from Vermont is Vice President Joe Biden, who hasn’t met a microphone he can’t make cringe with a gaffe. Biden must lug the weight of his son’s dubious decision to make big bucks as a board member of a giant Ukranian gas company.

The alternative? Mayor Pete Buttigieg, whose political career amounts to a few years as mayor of a midwestern town the size of Pueblo. They made Studebakers there a long time ago.

And then there’s Sen. Elizabeth Warren, who has a plan for everything except explaining things like why voters so far just won’t vote for her.

Sinking fast is Sen. Amy Klobuchar who gained ground recently for appearing to be relatively pleasant and keeping her political baggage out of public view.

Tom Steyer is, umm, who?

Sinking faster is New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg. His pay-big-to-play-big TV campaign imploded by fashioning his live debate persona after Bella Lugosi’s morose Massachusetts cousin.

Democrats passed on Colorado Sen. Michael Bennet for this?

Just little more than a year ago, it seemed that there would be no limit to the best and brightest among liberals to squash Trump like a bug. With an opportunity like this, progressives were expected to hoist the greatest presidential candidate the left ever produced.

These are not them.

We don’t necessarily need another JFK, but even a Michael Dukakis would be helpful at this point.

Maybe not.

 It’s pretty easy to argue that the bar is so low with Trump that even the disgraced convict Rod Blagojevich — freshly sprung from prison by the white-collar-crime sympathizer in chief himself —  could run on the moral high ground against Trump.

Maybe the problem with the rest of the 60 percent of the country is that we don’t understand that, really, any of the Democratic contenders can win, and probably will.

If Sanders, who has more stents than notable legislative achievements, is ever going to get elected, this would be the time. Maybe it doesn’t even matter how hard it is to convince Americans that Scandinavian social security programs are what makes their version of capitalism the best in the world.

And if Trump, backed by the likes of Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Kellyanne Conway, can make it to and stay in the White House with a televised geyser of lies, gaffes and malaprops, surely Biden can prevail with his daily dose of “d’oh.”

And Buttigieg’s argument that the collective experience in Washington of his elderly opponents — which apparently goes back to the Neolithic Period — is a serious problem and not a boon in the race for the Democratic nomination will sell to voters. It’s pretty easy to understand that someone really smart and thoughtful like Buttigieg really could get all the best people.

Who wouldn’t easily trade Warren’s manic monopoly on spread-sheet politics for Trump’s 140-character fleeting fascist thoughts?  

And although Klobuchar exchanged her own insightful political philosophy for the rhetorical equivalent of hot dish, she can change it back to the Meanisotta M.O. it will take to wrestle corruption out of the Senate.

Even Bloomberg, who at his age and with his wealth doesn’t need any more practice at being dismissive, can easily offer a sane and safe alternative to Trump.

We’re not going to have a charismatic liberal this time, championing a break from dark money or impractical pipe dreams. We’re going to have every flavor to choose from except your favorite. Pick yours for Super Tuesday soon, before it melts.

Follow @EditorDavePerry on Twitter and Facebook or reach him at 303-750-7555 or [email protected]