QUID HAS HEARD that for all the protecting, serving and flame-dousing they do, A-town’s finest also have found time to stir up the biggest off-year election kerfuffle in more than a decade. Seems the union wags for Aurora police and firefighters aren’t too happy with At-Large Councilman Bob LeGare for not rubber-stamping each and every request to put as many boots on the ground as this fair city can afford — and then some. That dismay with LeGare is headed to a mailbox near you in the form of a big, nasty flier with LeGare’s face Ghostbusted and a few misspelled screeds (“LaGare”?) about how the longtime city lawmaker “doesn’t believe in your safety.” Also curious? The sirens-and-flames set loudly proclaim that you, dear voter, should “vote no” — which might be confusing, since candidate races aren’t yea-or-nay propositions. Quid’s minions have heard that a copy of this incendiary invective from Aurora firefighters is inside this very edition of this crappy rag. In total fairness to the brave men and women who wear the uniform, “Low-Tax” LeGare can be counted on to find the most cost-effective way to run the city gubmint. If you take the time to move from Broncos armchair quarterback to Aurora armchair psychiatrist, you may deduce that the front-line public safety pros are either borrowing strategy from Big Fracking in going after even the smallest voice of dissent, or they’re simply making a stink to demonstrate their political heft and justify raking in all they do each month in dues.

AND QUID HAS HEARD that the endless quest by Colorado Republicans to find an oasis in the desert known as the 2016 U.S. Senate race continues. Turned down by Aurora theater shooting trial D.A. George Brauchler — who wants to spend more time with his family and his twicky tweets — the party bigwigs are left only with the mirage of a real candidate in state Sen. Tim Neville of Who? and Where? A relative neophyte at the state Capitol, he has friends in all the right Tea Party places and even more family nearby: Both his sons, Joe and Patrick, are political movers in their own right, between the state House and the state’s biggest pro-gun lobbying group. Recall-ready Jeffco school boarder Julie Williams is Tim’s sister-in-law. Presumably, you can toss a rock anywhere in these parts and you’ll hit a Neville. That Duggar-esque level of surname support ought to be enough to secure just enough votes to make a respectable run, but nevertheless Neville will embark on a “listening tour” of the state to hear what Coloradans have to say about the 2016 Senate race. Listen closely enough and it’ll be clear as day: “Michael Bennet, you are one lucky son of a gun.”

AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS.