QUID HAS HEARD desperate times call for desperate measures. And if you’ve been reading this rag or the broadsheet downstream in Denver, you know just how desperate days these are for newspapers. But times anywhere are nowhere near as desperate as they are at editorial board meetings of the Denver Post. Seems that desperation led that scholarly tome to select the flailing Denver Broncos as fodder for their noble editorial voice. Usually reserved for matters of gravity along the lines of death, misery, politics and unions, Sunday’s word count was dedicated to opining about how the once-great Broncos are now the worst pro team on the planet. It may come as a surprise to readers of your drunken affiant, but the powerful Post editorial courageously comes out against the venerable Broncos doing so poorly this year. Having, legally, eavesdropped on the high-powered editorial discussions in this miserable fishwrapper, Quid wonders how difficult it was to get the entire board on board with a unified editorial position against Broncos’ malfeasance. Regardless, your faithful hack lauds Post temerity and ingenuity for finding a way to offer readers something on the editorial page that they’ll read and enjoy. Quid respectfully asks the editor of this embarrassing litter-tray liner to follow the Post’s lead. Look soon for the Aurora Sentinel to offer worthy advice on the weather. Quid can advise the pontificators here that there simply must be warmer sunnier days until metropolitans are ready for their obligatory white Christmas. Perhaps the op-ed pages here and elsewhere in Colorado could advise TV news personalities about their offensive wardrobes. Quid is occularly injured by blinding plaids and not nearly enough cuff by the likes of KUSA Next wag Kyle Clark. And who doesn’t want the Post or the Sentinel to give a good finger wagging to King Soopers and Safeway for not moving their overripe bananas and the bruised avocados that yours truly pinches to the marked-down basket in shorter order?

AND QUID HAS HEARD that hell hath no fury like Colorado Sen. Cory Gardner’s Facebook followers. Seems that Senator Pleasant has drawn serious scorn for his vote and support of the Republican tax plan. In a gleeful video post telling Colorado voters that he and the GOP has done the deed, those not making $250,o00 a year or more registered 13,000 messages, mostly claiming things like, “you’ve been warned: the hounds of hell will be nipping at your heels for all eternity.” Counting emojies, it’s 1,635 happy posters to 10,264 “friends” suggesting something along the lines of a demise rather like Joan of Arc.

AND THAT’S ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS